Summer Life and Travel

Hello everyone. It's been quite a while since my last post. I've been on two trips which some might think complete opposites of each other. Both, however, were very inspirational and restorative. The first trip was the multiethnic conference in Grand Rapids Michigan. It was a long drive down there and back but the company was excellent. Things went quite well overall. I met and talked with a whole bunch of people who are interested in making my adopted denomination one which better shares power, resources, and leadership with all of the many diverse people who belong to it. If I came away with anything, it was a reminder of just how much room there is in God's kingdom. The workshops were interesting also giving a kind of overview of the many steps being taken to solve diversity issues faced by my denomination and others. With God pitching in and all of these good people and ideas, we'll get there eventually. What good one does by going to these events is somewhat difficult to quantify. While I've learned a lot myself, I find it hard to tell whether I contributed much. A whole lot of people took an interest in me as I went about with all my gadgets and such. I'm hopeful that perhaps, my perspective on people which isn't based on appearance may have given some folks there food for thought. Also, there were a number who were quite shocked that I could use an iPHONE and netbook. Perhaps, that will cause them to re-think any preconceptions they may have had of other ethnic groups. At long last, I finally was able to hear some of the resistance to change and inclusiveness up close. In some of the questions asked of presenters, you could hear the fear of change. How far would things go? What might have to be left behind? I still have material to go through from the workshops. I gave quite a number of people my contact information and very much hope to hear from some eventually. They're the kind of people who I'd be honoured to call friends.

My second trip was to Selkirk Ontario where I spent last weekend camping with five other fine folks including my friend Ron Schamerhorn. In contrast to the fast-paced hectic conference, there was plenty of time to relax and talk. I don't see most of these people between these excursions. However, over the years, they've become far more than simple camping companions due to the sheer dint of conversation we've had. Each of them is going at life a little differently. There's a couple who are trying to climb the career ladder while keeping a marriage going. They travelled with a friendly if excited little dog. As much as I enjoy petting her, I was also once again made profoundly thankful that I chose to go with a cane rather than a dog. They're like having a little kid around who you have to keep an eye on all the time. Not at all what I'd want in life without the compensations that come with raising an actual child. There was Ron, my friend who's pretty much in my position in life other than having a couple of nasty vices to deal with. He consumed far more beer than I did but seemed none the worse for it. Had I drank that much, I believe I would have been positively ill. He, on the other hand, maintained his faculties surprisingly well. The organizer of the camp is a happily single non-religious Jew who teaches mentally challenged kids. He very much enjoys these outings as occasions where he can say what he thinks without reprimand and blow off some steam. He's a very good cook even after alcohol has sunk its teeth into him. A polite Nova Scotian who has made Ontario his home was the last of my companions five. Always willing to help, he's the kind of guy who you'd cheerfully trust with your life. Very even-tempered and easy-going. There were a lot of differences but despite those, the group just seemed to glide through a most enjoyable weekend. It's interesting who fate throws together and who remains friends where others fall away. As usual, there were some misadventures. By the time I realized that my sleeping bag and pillow weren't in the tent, it was absurdly late and the man with keys to the truck where said articles were happened to be asleep. I thought I'd spare him the extra wake up since he hadn't slept well over the past while. I, for one, can strongly sympathize with what that's like and figured I'd be fine in my clothes. Drifting off more easily than I normally do, I was surprised to wake up shivering in the early hours of Saturday. It seems sleeping bags have their uses after all. Didn't think nearly so much wind would come into the tent as was the case. On Saturday night, I had a far more comfortable and solid sleep thanks to the sleeping bag and pillow. There was also the small but amusing incident, [to them], of my falling backwards out of a less than stable chair first thing in the morning with no alcohol required. The weekend was full of good-natured teasing and fun. I partially zoned out of a conversation and tried to reenter it with a bit of a non-sequitur earning me the nickname of Bananas. I profoundly hope that one doesn't stick. An annual trip with this bunch is something I wouldn't be a bit surprised to still be enjoying decades from now. Having a weekend with people who actually have time and inclination to talk to each other is an extremely enjoyable change from days spent in this apartment even if I've come to better terms with what passes for normal life.

There was a dinner and evening at the Dam on Monday. It combined a brief board meeting with a fellowship evening for all the volunteers and was very enjoyable. Learning a little about the actual effect we as an organization were having was most interesting. I also got to talk with a number of people who I volunteer with at some length. Any opportunity to get to know people in a relaxed fashion is most welcome. Tuesday was unexpectedly free since the Dam was closed for a staff meeting. I spent it doing laundry, tidying up around here, and ordering groceries. I also got in a walk around the lake before the rain started up. It took a little longer to do this grocery order since I've tried to adjust things to have as little wasted by my week away at Lake Jo and other trips like this weekend's as possible. Everything arrived yesterday with only a few substitutions. I'll just need to get some fruit and vegetables once back from vacation. This Summer is certainly draining my cash reserves more than I anticipated but I'll manage to enjoy it without going into debt or anything. After 2012, I'll be out of my TV and Internet contract with Rogers and be able to scale those back gaining extra wiggle room that way. I don't use TV all that much these days and would switch to a basic package now if there weren't a penalty to pay for doing that. I may also be able to go with a lighter Internet package although that'll require some further consideration over the next while. It gets easier to understand what drives many of my fellow ODSP recipients over that edge of inpatient hopelessness where they stop caring if they go into debt and spend for a moment's enjoyment. I thank my lucky stars that my father taught me what being in debt was like before it really mattered. Not being compelled to spend on cigarettes or alcohol are two more precious advantages I have. I'm ever so glad that neither of those addictions have gotten the better of me. My nature drives me more in the direction of a clear steady mind that would rather escape into a book or game than a bottle any day. I'll never even entertain the notion of trying cigarettes, but certainly enjoy a good drink. Perhaps, I'm more cautious with alcohol than I need to be. Eight beers proved an extravagant enjoyment for my camping weekend while others consumed three times as much. I simply like to remember my good times and savour the taste of beer rather than any buzz. For a time after Janene walked away from me, I fell into the trap of using alcohol as a means to try to escape from time itself letting myself zone out rather than face yet another empty dull afternoon. However, I learned that the price was a kind of lingering heavy frustrated lethargy which prevented the enjoyment of more time which could have been better used were I not under its effects. I don't believe I'll fall into that trap again now. Patience and discipline are worth their weight in gold when you live a life like this.

It's Thursday afternoon now. I've been pecking at this blog entry for quite some time. The rain is hammering down on my balcony railing but none is blowing in through my open screen door. You almost feel like you're cheating nature hearing so much force, being able to stand out beyond your door without getting drenched for reckless impudence. I've grown very fond of my balcony. It adds a very welcome dimension of space which I couldn't have appreciated until I had one in my own dwelling here. Cabin fever would have been far more an issue for me over the last year had my apartment not included one.

Each trip this Summer has given me quite a lot to think about. I know that eventually, these experiences will make their way into my creative writing projects and autobiographical book. Events like the conference just have so much packed into them that it's hard for me to properly document them as they occur. Others like the camping trip demand a certain circumspection when blogging about them. This weekend, I'm off to visit Michelle and Jerry. They were the two friends who I haven't seen in eight years who discovered me on Facebook. This will be my first visit their way. I'll be staying overnight and beginning the process of teaching them more about their computers. Both Michelle and Jerry have managed to get onto Twitter themselves although I expect there are some finer points to help them with. I'll be bringing my netbook along to help give them more of a crash tour of what kinds of things are available and accessible to them. It'll be interesting to see how this more extended get-together goes. We've led very different lives. Neither of them are as well read as I am nor so prone to deep thinking. Especially when teaching them about computers, I'll have to be very mindful that they likely aren't going to know things that I've come to take for granted over the years. There should be lots to talk about as I become more familiar with what their normal lives are like, but I could be wrong. At least I've found two people who are interested in attempting serious friendship. That's more than I can say for most residents of my building. From force of habit, I remove the chain lock each morning on the off chance someone should knock. Nobody ever has though. It's simply a habit born of misplaced hope. Despite all the changes over the past while, I still often go days without opening my apartment door. I certainly won't be going out today with all the rain that's been coming down. Glad I got out yesterday with dad for a nice brunch at Symposium Cafe. Their burgers and martinis are still as awesome as ever. The staff are friendly as they always have been despite all the changes in management over the years. It's good to have a place like that which I can reach on my own.

In a little over a week, I'll be going on my trip to Lake Joseph. Things are pretty much in hand regarding that. I'll take up pretty much the same stuff as last year. Granted, there is a whole lot more on my netbook in terms of audio and music. I recently bought a bunch of Patrick O'hearn's music. I was impressed by a number of pieces I heard on Sky FM's new age Internet radio station over the past while and I hadn't added to my library of instrumental music in quite some time. If nothing else, I'll at least have a week among people who share some of my audio interests. Lets just hope they're in possession of more of their faculties than some notable ones were last time. A week of good conversation among people who have at least shared some of my experiences in life would do a whole lot of good. There's always the slight hope that I'll come away with some new friends or perhaps even something more. A very slight hope given the distances around Ontario people come to Lake Joseph from, but you never know. it's happened before to more than just me. There hasn't been so much as a nibble from either of the dating sites I'm still on. I've laid my cards out on those tables as best I might and done all that I think worth doing on those sites. Either it'll happen or it won't. Meanwhile, there are a lot of perks to enjoy as a single man. One of which is rediscovering and reading books one has read before. I've been going through the Rift War saga again by Raymond E. Feist. The CNIB digital library has them all narrated by a fantastic English guy who more than does them justice. I guess they've got some sort of deal with the RNIB these days. Long may that partnership continue. Those books have done a great deal to bring a sense of companionship and adventure to the many hours which have otherwise lacked this quality in real modern life.

Well I guess that pretty much brings you up to date. Not much has happened on the writing front although I've done a little work on the online dating chapter of my autobiographical book. Also, I've come up with a few new place ideas for enchantment's Twilight. Nothing tremendous, but I'll take every little bit of progress I can get these days and be very thankful for it. As to insomnia, I've been doing quite well in the sleep department lately. All the activity of the past while has gotten me feeling very good about things in general. But for a lack of creative ideas, I feel at the top of my game.

Reflections At Rest

Hello everyone. I don't ususally write blog entries this close together. Nothing really spectacular has happened. It just feels right that I do. I've been up sincearound three AM. It's now just approaching seven. I'm out on my balcony using my netbook. May stay out here all day if it keeps nice like this. There's a wonderful breeze coming in over the rail. I'm listenning to CBC Radio1 and enjoying a bit of a racoon's breakfast. A muffin, a small handful of smoked almonds and some dried mango slices. I didn't think of how thematically appropriate such a breakfast is. Tomorrow, I'll be headding off to a place where I hope to help very different flavours of Christian people come together to better form the delicious blend of life that God wants our dinomination to. Unfortunately, making that happen is a whole lot harder than making my tasty breakfast was.

I'd now finished both eating breakfast and hearing the news and weather. Sounds like today's going to be nice and somewhat cooler than yesterday. Persumng I'm not catching up on missed sleep via dozing, I'll likely head out for a walk at some point and spend most of the day out here. Hopefully, some extensive use of this netbook's keyboard will help my notetaking abilities at the conference. The workshops all sound very interesting. Can't remember which ones I checked when filling out the registration form but I imagine I'll receive that info at the conference when I get there. I think I'm pretty much ready aside from a small amount of packing I'll do today. I met all sorts of interesting good people last time and expect that'll happen again this year. There's wifi available so I'll try and blog dayly rather than post one big one at the end of the event.

In those long small hours I've already passed through today, I decided to hear a favorite movie of mine called Snowcake. Alan Rickman plays an Englishman who was involved in a fatal accident while giving a young woman a lift. Driven by gilt and responsibility, he goes to see Vivienne's mother. She turns out to have Autism and reacts in completely unexpected ways to Vivienne's death. The acting in the film is first-rate. Sigourney Weaver plays Linda Freeman, the autistic mother, very well as far as I can judge having never met anybody at all like her. I've found a deep and welcome sense of humanity prevailing, a sense that if we're willing, there's the possibility of at least some earthly redemption for mistakes of our past. We can become better people. I find the same sort of hope and restoration in movies like Shawshank Redemption, The Green Mile, and stil an all-time favorite, Stranger Than Fiction. Perhaps, I'll take that one in again later. I think it's going to be one of those somewhat long, drifting solitary but nonetheless very enjoyable days.

The confirmation package for my week away at Lake Joe has come in. While most semsible people were sleeping peacefully, I gave it a looking over. LThey added a few different offsite trips. Independant bands are playing all summer as part of a nearby concert series. YYou can have dinner there and it may very well prove an enjoyable evening. They also have a five-pin bowling excursion. Not overly up my alley, but I might partake. The traditional Legion trip is also on offer. That's a definite must. Provided a good bunch of people choose the same week, I ought to have a better time than last year. Thanks to my conversation with John Morgan, I know at least one bright fellow into good conversation who'll be going at the same time. Haven't seen Grlpreet in quite a spell. It'll be good to catch up.

Not much else to write about just now. Had an excellent bunch with my father and his neighbour Jim who joined us. Got my laundry all done and I don't think packing wil take more than fifteen minuts or so. I anticipate a rather neventful day online. However, I could easily be wrong there. Haven't checkedemail or Twitter in over eight hours. One never knows.

Life Goes On

Hello everyone. It's another tuesday morning. Life is certainly moving along. In three days, I'll be heading off to a church conference in Grand Rapids Michigan. I've been gathering things in accesible form like the schedule and information about the speakers. It's all going on my netbook just like two years ago. Yes, shocking as it is, that much time has truly passed. Events like this certainly have a way of putting one's life in perspective. Back then, I had no idea that I'd be in my own apartment. Going into this, I feel at least a little more knowledgeable than I was last time. Still, it's such a different world and there's loads to learn.

Facebook is one of those sites which I find very annoying to deal with. However, every time I get close to thinking about deleting my acount there, something happens to stay my hand. This time was no exeption. A couple who I inadvertently lost touch with around eight years ago found me thanks to my Facebook profile. Michelle used to attend a youth group for blind people back when I was growing up in Mississauga. She's a very simple soul who had the misfortune to slide through the cracks of the education system. Enough sight to make teachers think she was being lazy and not give her the help she needed. She's very short and if you heard her, you'd swear on your life that she couldn't be any older than thirteen or so. However, in reality, she's as old as I am. Get past the appearance which I'm told is child-like and the voice to match, and you'll discover that time and adult life have indeed left their marks. She's amazing when it comes to travelling around on public transit. When she wants to do something, she has a surprising degree of stubbornness. Last saturday was a prime example. It was absolutely pouring out there. I called to warn her of this but she still insisted on coming over with her saintly husband Jerry. He would have preferred to stay home and dry but Michele was quite determined to get together with me. I believe I was able to make the trip a worth-while one for poor Jerry. I only met him once before we fell out of near orbit and drifted into separate directions. It's ironic. I've been pushing as hard as I could and hoping to find new friends around here. Who'd have thought that my social prospects would improve for the Summber by having old friends chance upon me?

Michelle and Jerry both have computers but haven't gone very far yet in learning to use them. I certainly have the time and inclination to help them more into the digital age. They, in turn, are quite willing to help me go into Toronto and hang out with people in the blind community there who I've also lost touch with. I've never been very comfortable using public transportation on my own. It takes months to even try to learn a route somewhere for me. These two have been doing it non-stop and don't even have to have instruction to learn a new route. They'll just get up and go wherever they like. I wouldn't have thought of asking them to go so far out of their way to include me. It adds at least an hour to whatever trip they'd make. However, they just up and offered to do it with a simple natural manner which completely surprised me. Unlike most people I've dealt with over the past while, they have lots of time on their hands. Now, I have some sense of how other people feel when I offer my time as I have. I'll happily take them up on it. In turn, I'll spend the time it takes to help them make better use of their computers and take advantage of the online world. My father was good enough to drive us between the mall and my apartment during the rain.

We spent the afternoon and evening mainly chatting and catching up on what befell each of us over the past near decade. I introduced Jerry to margaritas, a favorite drink of mine. Michelle doesn't drink. The highlight of the visit was thanks to Twitter and Mushroom FM. I sent a tweet into Lulu Wells, a broadcaster from South Wales. Within five minutes, she mentionned my guests by name live on Internet radio. It just blew their minds that this sort of thing was possible. They want me to go over their way and teach them to get in on Twitter and internet radio. I'll be quite happy to do this. There are dead spots in my week which such excursions would fill very nicely. After a very good first visit, I walked them back to the mall and the busses with my Trekker Breeze. It took a while to lock on but I know the beginning of the way quite well even without the Breeze now.

The church had a barbecue on sunday which very nicely polished off the weekend. I've been marvelling over the past couple days how life seems to be filling in for me. So many things are sliding into place. I just got a call from John Morgan this morning. Now there's an excellent reason to miss a chunk of Lulu Wells's excellent extra Bear's Lair broadcast on Mushroom FM out here on the balcony. Haven't heard from John in quite a while now. He's kept pretty busy. However, he'd like to see about Sandy and also see me and the new stuff I've been masterring over the past while. I ran into Sandy as both of us were headding out to different places recently. He sounds alright but hasn't taken any steps to get back in greater touch with me. I don't have his number so John plans on buzzing him when he comes over eventually. Both of us are busy over the next while but we'll get it together at some point soon. It's so damned good to be able to say that. I've spent so much time with no scope for hope or change. That dead time seems to be well and truly over. God seems to have found me new engagement with people at last. Now, I know I'm in the right place at the right time. This need not be a box where I've simply been stuck away by society to slowly rot. There are possibilities to do good and enjoy it in turn. I just needed the right people to come along to hook up my engine to the great machine of life.

It's getting close to noon now. I'll be packing up my netbook and taking my gear inside. The breeeze coming in over the balcony rail has ben very nice. It's time to head in and make my brunch. Haven't had bacon and eggs in quite a while. After brunch, it'll be off to the Dam. Tomorrow, I'll be at Symposium Cafe having lunch with my father. Got a load of laundry to do after that among other chores. My world certainly does keep turning. Wouldn't have it any other way.

Doomsday and Other Happennings

May 22:

Good incredibly early Monday morning. It's just after midnight but it's been a long while since I've felt such a sense of wholeness, hope and restoration. It'll be a while before I turn in despite yesterday's early morning intentional venture from bed. But I'll get to that in due course. There's so very much I ought to blog about.

When last I posted, I was about to go for a TV interview for a new show starting this Fall on the Accessible Channel. Nothing about it went as expected but it was still a very interesting experience. The transportation company hired to pick me up was over an hour late. For me, it was quite a pleasant hour waiting outside during a period of sunshine amid some gloomy days. I met and chatted with some folks outside my building. getting to the studio, the pace picked up as people tried to adjust their timeline to fit my late arrival. A lady put some dry powder on my forehead and didn't seem to worry about the rest of my exposed skin. I guess I had thoughts of being covered in some sort of goo so this was a pleasant surprise. Next, it was into what seemed an overly large studio with acoustics which made it hard to hear my interviewer at times. Presumably, it looked good though. As things turned out though, there wasn't much time to cover the subject at all. I had planned on demonstrating at least a couple of PC games followed by Stem stumper on the iPHONE. Things moved far too rapidly with too much time taken away by the introduction to show and studio. Pong is a great starting game but a very underwelming example of how advanced these games have become over the years. I just hope they provide the links people will need to find out more on their own initiative. There's so much story and fascinating history after nearly fifteen years of audio games but they simply don't offer much eye candy for the lumination dependent. A good radio documentary would do more for us I think. I rode back in a limousine they sent, presumably as a way of making amends for the late trip in. The driver was interesting to chat with. This impressed me far more than some fancy car ever could. And thus ended my first appearance on TV in a very long while.

As predicted, things sort of settled down after that. I say sort of because there was, of course, Mr. Camping's prediction that Judgement Day would fall on Saturday. This man and his organization has come from the fringes and somehow gotten an extraordinary amount of attention. His prediction is the first supernatural doomsday scenario which I've been old enough to consciously observe. I have no memory at all of his 1994 prediction invading my social surroundings at all. Things were very different this time. Everyone was talking about it as well as the people who went to such effort to tell the world that it was about to end.

I have somewhere around 120 followers on Twitter. They're either people I've come to know and respect due to their online efforts or people who seem to think I'm worthy of following for whatever reason. The rapture just kept coming up. None of them really bought it. Many saw it as a perfect example of why we'd be altogether better off without religion. There were endless snarky quips and questions. God won't be judging us on the 21st, Mr. Camping, but on the 22nd, we'll all be judging you. Would god remember to clean up his mess taking the bodies of those raptured up to heaven, or would the rest of us be stuck burying them while dealing with everything else? What time zone was God in again? I couldn't get through a day without someone who knew of my faith asking me weather I really thought the day of reckoning was upon us. I didn't for a moment, but it's strange how much these things unleash even in the sceptical.

It was all supposed to begin in New Zealand at precisely 2 AM Eastern time on Saturday morning or the dreaded 6 PM their time. And where was I when that very first hour of doom fell? I could have quite easily been asleep despite every intention not to be. Meaning to catch the start of Jonathan Mosen's Rapturous Explosion at 1 AM, I thought I'd snatch a couple hours of sleep first. I awoke at around 1:35 AM and was in full virtual attendance before 1:40. Cutting it somewhat closer than I intended but I made it to his virtual non-rapture party. Being agnostic, Mr. Mosen has got to be one of the most respectful people of the beliefs of others Who I've ever encountered. He's a family man who has let all of us follow his journey, come to know his wonderful second wife and children, and genuinely cares about others. He's one of the people in the world who help shape my belief in a kind, merciful and loving God who must surely have a better and more just judgement and end planned for us than what Mr. Camping predicted. I believe that I, as a believer, am saved and will live on in Heaven. If I'm to enjoy my eternal life, it's pretty much imperative that God deals with those good people who don't believe in him fairly. Should he fail to do that, people of conscience like me are going to have extreme difficulty deriving any enjoyment from existence. I don't for a moment believe that all good and deserving people will come to believe in Christ before they reach the end of their lives on Earth. If Doubting Thomas was able to touch him in order to believe, I have to think that God will provide similarly for those whose hearts are in the right place before passing judgement. Beyond the whole "no man shall know the hour" thing in Matthew which instantly gave me a gut level sense that Mr. Camping was just irretrievably off the mark, the utter lack of mercy during his envisioned sequence of world ending events struck me as preposterous. I knew that Mr. Mosen and company would have a fun time with this. Jonathan has been editing sounds, podcasts and shows for years now and the possibilities of what he might do for such an occasion as this were endless. I wanted to catch it all live and participate if I could. How far would he go in the interests of fun? Would fun win out over respectfulness? Might he pretend to be God, or when the time came, try to scare everyone via a well-executed audio mini disaster epic?

Many of my expectations in life have never been realized. This is especially the case in the areas of friendship and love. I have a number of very good friends but most of them are too busy, far away, or both to do a whole lot of regular hanging out with or wouldn't be all that interested in, for instance, going to a festival or other events which I'd have liked to experience. I've remarked on more than one occasion that I don't have many guests at all in the apartment. Also, there's no real place to go where you can just spend time conversing with people without there being other expectations or activities attached. In short, I have yet to really find my in-crowd to live life to the fullest with. That process has certainly slowly begun to happen here. I have some real hope of being in the social position I thought I'd occupy by the time I turned thirty when I hit forty. However, for the present, the closest thing to such a hangout and in-crowd that I've managed to find is being on Twitter while tuned into a show on Mushroom FM. Through listening to shows on this wonderful internet radio station while tweeting with the hosts and other community members, you eventually build a surprising sense of connection. It's a slow process as trivial or funny observations, brief commentaries, and bits of their lives build up like dust in the mind. Eventually, you're surprised by just how much you've come to care about the authors of tweets you've read. Not nearly as vivid or constructive as what you have with people you get together with, it's nevertheless a whole lot more worth-while than one might expect. Agreeing to share brief thoughts over a continual expanse of time builds a different sort of friendship. A year ago, I would have felt utterly cheated once again passing through yet another historic moment entirely alone. However, at some point around last November, things changed. Somehow the self I once was who could find a level of contentment in his circumstances and the bright side in everything was restored to me. In a very real way, I wasn't alone this time around. My apartment might be as empty of people as ever, but I nevertheless had a very real sense of participation with others on my Twitter list who were tuned in and listening. Jonathan and company provided the ambience and event while all of us could tweet in and thereby be a part of it.

Meka, a long-time listener from the US and talented would-be singer, wrote in to say how much she'd miss Jonathan and Julia and how good it was to have known them. Peggy, another American, joked that she was listening to hear Jonathan "get what was coming to him" with a to show she meant it jokingly. Another believer, Ray, expressed the hope that there be beer in Heaven. With the poise and wit we all love him for, Jonathan quickly shot back that Jesus had made wine before so he might be in luck on that score. There were the song requests for REM's End of the World as We Know it, Final Countdown, and Tom Lehrer's We'll all go Together When We Go which spoke volumes of those requesting them. Jonathan's wife Julia was present for part of the show after she had finished preparing a dinner of roast duck. Jonathan remarked during the show that he wasn't certain whether or not Julia would be raptured but that at least dinner was in the oven. Not knowing him, one might easily take that for a dreadfully chauvinistic remark. However, anybody who had listened to either of them for any length of time could only laugh and marvel at the deep abiding love those two have found. The quips and jokes flew thick and fast. A fellow show host in Australia hoped that two believers weren't flying the same airplane because that could get rather dicey.
Considering the whole Noah thing, wouldn't pets get raptured? Where does 2012 come in? Wasn't the world supposed to end then?

One thing that was unleashed in a lot of my followers and I over the past days was a great deal of reflection on our lives. No matter how sceptical we were that they'd soon be over, there were countless tweeted or blogged about moments of that. People glad to have found love, to have lived well, etc. A whole lot of us, myself included, couldn't help but count our blessings publicly. If any good came out of the efforts of Mr. Camping and his followers, I think that kind of thankfulness for what we've had was at least something positive.

Jonathan played All you Need is Love by the Beetles as his "last" song. The countdown came and seemed to fly past exceedingly quickly. As time was pulled out from under me like a magician's tablecloth, I experienced such a crowd of thoughts as to defy description. It couldn't be true, could it? I thought of all the friends I had known and briefly wondered whether any would make it into Mr. Camping's estimated 300 million lucky souls. I was thankful for all the wonderful podcasts, documentaries and shows which had given me so much food for thought over so many lonely days here. I may not have done as much in the world as I'd have liked to but there have been so many interesting trips of the mind. There was regret that I had been unable to find a special lady to have married and possibly shared the moment with. As usual, there was just furniture; The chair and desk which had served me quite well for years, the new Imac computer I was still just getting to know, the recently purchased keyboard my hands were poised on allowing me what human connection I had found at what just might be the end of everything. There were so many snippets of current history both personal and global sweeping through my mind. As I thought of my church, family, the events in space and on Earth, it just seemed so preposterous that it could all be swept away like garbage by any sort of loving God. Earlier in the week, Winamp had picked out Pop Goes the World by Men Without Hats. Hearing the song, I couldn't help but imagine Patrick Stuart, in his Captain Picard voice saying: "Oh the world won't end with a bang. Not even a whimper. Just a playful pop." As it had the first time, that thought forced me into a state of good cheer. And then, at last, the moment arrived. There was an awful stretch of time, a ghastly moment of inevitable dreadful uncertainty. We humans must be hard-wired to accept ideas as true at a subconscious primal level. I had dismissed all of Mr. Camping's thinking as bunk since I first heard of it, but for one brief moment, there was a gap in time where it all seemed plausible. I found myself bracing for some sort of impact and feeling surprisingly light and free of past regret. Even as I sadly contemplated all the good friends I'd never see again and hopes which would never be realized, there was a sense that I had given my best and gotten more than many for my troubles. Were things to actually wind down, I'd have felt robbed of whatever the future holds for me here on Earth. I wasn't the only one to experience that horrid moment of uncertainty. Many people tweeted in a similar sense of surprising relief that nothing had happened. Even Jonathan, as sceptical as he was, admitted to a moment's tention and surprising relief when it became evident that Mr. Camping was off the mark with his timing at the very least. Jonathan and company started to party in earnest now. "It looks like Judgement Day waits for another day. And what better cause for a global party is there? he said as Elton John's Still Standing came on the air.

Considering the sound editing skill this man had at his disposal, we Christians have been shown a good deal of grace by this man. He's a living example of why I'm so careful to keep a guard up when it comes to my religious beliefs. It can do a lot of good provided one doesn't go overboard and start trying to do God's judgement job for him. Sadly, even after such thoughts, that's easier said than done as I would learn not even two days later.

Saturday and Sunday were terrific. I enjoyed a wonderful brunch on my balcony sitting on one of my two new comfortable sling back chairs. The only slight downer was having run out of salsa for my scrambled eggs. I couldn't help thinking that had I been among the far too select group of Christians to have been raptured, I would have lessened the ability of looters who broke into my apartment to enjoy any of the eggs which had yet to go rotten. They'd have to do what I did and use garlic and spice instead. As they say these days, "Oops! My bad." Other than that, I believe I'd have left them in reasonably good shape food-wise. I enjoyed that days' Bear's Lair on Mushroom FM out on the balcony while slowly sipping at a margarita on ice. A cool gentle breeze blew in over the rail. I've spent many long excruciating hours wishing I weren't alone. However, the solitary life does have its sublime moments. One couldn't help but feel renewed living in time that, if only for a brief instance, had been uncertain. This was definitely one of them. After the show, I went out and walked around the lake a few times. I had several conversations and met a woman who was actually named Me. I'm not certain of the right spelling but that's how she said it. Never encountered someone with that name before. Hopefully, I can eventually get to know her further. As the dreaded hour of six o'clock arrived in Ontario, I was at home eating dinner with my parents. We had a good meal, caught some of the news, and then I went to work on dad's laptop. It uses XP Pro and when Microsoft Security Essentials refused to install on it, I thankfully found that Avast would work on his machine. It's a very slow old thing and I'm convinced there's stuff running on it that, being retired, he no longer needs. However, I have no idea what he could remove which would speed things up. He doesn't seem to mind at all. It took quite a while to get things sorted out.

Sunday started with a church service. When Pastor Sam asked us whether we had attended any rapture parties, I hesitantly started to raise my hand while thinking that "Sort of..." might have been the best answer there. Mark and Wendy came over to go out for dinner and Joseph was able to join us. I wanted these three to meet for some time now. As I thought would be the case, we all had a good time. Joseph knew of a burger place called Five Guys that the other three of us had yet to try so we'll hopefully do that eventually. Symposium Cafe got our business that evening. I should have done an audioboo while we were all there. Didn't have it ready to go like I should have. My three guests having left after a stroll around the lake, I decided to get my Trekker Breeze and go back out alone to do something I've waited to do all year.

Long-time readers of this blog may remember the keen sense of frustration I felt last year when I couldn't even find my way out onto the path around the lake near my building to join others during fireworks. I remember sitting on my balcony after at last giving up trying hearing how close the explosions and people enjoying them were but being completely unable to reach them. I've spent the majority of my life basically at the mercy of the willingness of others to attend such events with me. Although I prefer going to activities with people, the confinement of not being able to move around and go where I'd like to on my own terms has at times been very hard to live with. Unless you've been similarly limited in some way, I doubt you could comprehend the effect this has on one's life. This year, at long last, I succeeded in joining the people enjoying the fireworks set off near the lake by my building. It was absolutely wonderful to spend a couple of hours appreciating the sounds and warm weather, walking around in complete confidence of being able to return home, and most importantly, being with people with time and inclination to talk. There were a number of curious kids with questions I was happy to answer. I also met some adults who seemed around my age doing precisely what I was. It felt profoundly good to at last be in this position knowing that even if nothing else ever changed in my life here, there would at least be other such evenings to look forward to. I don't know if I'll encounter the people I met again, but there's at least a little hope on that score. I haven't felt such a sense of triumph, of being part of a community without owing my being present to another person's kindness before. I could hang out as long as I liked, drift around with the crowd, and head back without anybody's help. As things turned out, I did take a wrong turn and get briefly lost on the way back to my apartment. People had largely dispursed by this point so there wasn't anybody immediately there to ask directions of. I had brought my iPHONE on the off chance that I got into some sort of real trouble. However, using the new capability for the Trekker Breeze to route to landmarks, I was able to select one and so get directions back onto the proper pathway. I then set the Breeze to track in on the park entrance of my complex which lead up from the path around the lake. It was a simple matter to find my way back to the building with my wrong turn and recovery merely adding to my sense of long-awaited victory. Here's hoping it doesn't prove to be an overly wet summer this year. Wouldn't that just suck? FTo finally be somewhere I know how to get around only to be stuck indoors? Could happen that way I guess.

Upon getting home, I set up my netbook on the balcony for a while in order to start off this blog entry. However, I soon discovered that there seemed to be bugs out there and that it was starting to cool off. My netbook wasn't on all that long. However, a worm had managed to slip past my defences and access my email address information. It sent many spam messages without my being aware of the problem until I was alerted by people on my Twitter list. Thanks to them, I was able to quickly change my Gmail password preventing the worm from sending more emails. The next day, I set about eliminating the problem using Microsoft Security Essentials. I performed two full scans. They each took around three hours. I did the first one while the netbook was offline to prevent any possibility of spreading further harm. Thankfully, Security Essentials was able to detect and eliminate the problem. I then went online to get any unreceived updates for Windows in general and specifically for Microsoft Security Essentials. Once these were obtained, I took the computer back offline and did a second full scan. Six hours is a long time to wait and a long time for my netbook to be working at full throttle. I don't believe I've ever felt the thing while it was so hot. The fan inside truly got a workout. At last, the scan was done. No threats were detected this time. I've had no reports since of any further spam emails from my account being received by anybody. Remember when I said we should back away from being so willing to judge others? Well, I had a relapse on that score. Before I even really thought about what I was typing, I tweeted "If they rounded up all malware creators and spammers, they could make very good use of a low-yield nuke." In retrospect, this does strike me as perhaps a tad harsh and hasty. I've always tried to be as trust-worthy as possible particularly online. I treet my online identity as seriously as my offline one. They're the same thing and I try to take responsability for whatever is posted online in my name. People who undermine my identity by impersonating me in order to turn a profit will, I hope, get their punnishment. However, perhaps, a low-yield nuke would be a tad too drastic for God's liking. In some parts of the world, people are forced into criminal acts in order to survive or feed their children and one can sympathise after the initial anger of victimhood fades away. As Sandra, a church friend of mine said once, they're all victims too in one way or another. One has to let go and let God. Like I said before, that's a process easier recommended than followed. The human tendency is to lash out in defensiveness and vengefulness.

Helping my friend Joseph move into his new condo was unfortunately another exercise more in frustration than in heavy lifting. For most of the time, there were only three of us. One other man came forward to help when Joseph asked during the church service. However, he was only there for a brief time. Had there been even one more person from the beginning, things may have gone differently for me. As it was, I ended up spending most of the time standing around while the other two moved things. If people just take the twenty seconds needed to explain what they need me to do, I'm perfectly able to lift and even walk backwards while someone tells me where and when to turn. I felt exactly as I did when helping John and Sandy get his computer desk set up. Sandy and I were basically left to converse while John, a kindly octogenarian, put the desk together by himself. Words of explanation are all that are needed to make use of my brain and body. Sadly, it seems like sighted folks would rather spend time recovering from over-strained muscles or backs than take the much shorter time needed to make better use of me. To be ready, willing and able to help but rendered unable to safely do so for a lack of communication is exceedingly frustrating for me. I was eventually taken back home in time to go to the Dam as usual feeling like I could have done much more with the morning. There's nothing for it but to keep putting myself out there and hope that circumstances allow my gifts to be better recognised and put to use.

May 30:

It's now a week later. For a while there, nobody knew what Mr. Camping would do since his prediction had failed to happen. Speculation ranged from him having blown himself away rather than face his disappointed angry followers to all manner of other possibilities regarding what he might come out with next. Like it or not, he's still stuck on the planet with the rest of us. Eventually, Mr. Camping did what a lot of people likely expected him to do. I had held some faint hope that he would come to his senses and admit he was in error. Perhaps then, he would walk away from what the bible clearly says is an impossible task from the start and turn his long years of study to something more benneficial. No such luck though. We're now T minus 5 months and counting. The world will end, acording to Mr. Camping, on October 21. Couldn't he just wait until some time in November letting all the kids enjoy Haloween? There's also the matter of my birthday on October 29th. Come on, God. Hold those horsemen a while, will you? What happens when that date passes by with no drastic events whatsoever? I guess then, he could go for December 21, 2012 and grasp at the straws of the Mayans he has previously laughed at so much. Are there any doomsday predictions after that date? I don't believe I've heard of any at all past 2012. I guess there must be but they haven't caught on culturally at all.

It has certainly been fascinating to have experienced one of these supernaturally based predictions. The whole 2000 world-end stuff always struck me as being more about our ability to wipe ourselves out so I don't really count it as being a widely held supernatural doomsday scenario. The buildup to it had a very different feel than did Mr. Camping's date of reckonning. I pitty his followers who he managed to string along this far and are now prepared to follow him for yet another half-year. His prediction has completely ruined a whole lot of lives. I think of the children caught up in their parents' misplaced zeal. How many families have had their well-earned prosparity erased through a misguided attempt to do God's work? There are countless ramifications. For how many people will Mr. Camping's prediction prove to be the final nail in the coffin of former faith in a loving and merciful God? How many families have been needlessly divided by hurtful remarks and worse as people dealt with this sudden call of "Time's up!"? There's not much one can do to counter the effects of extremists among one's faith. I have an idea how the Muslims must feel as the actions of a very small number of Mohamed's followers get all the attention leaving moderate sensible people to be painted with the same harsh brush of damnation. For my part, I'll continue doing what I've always done; simply try to enjoy the good in God's world as much as I can while attempting to increase it for as many people as I can. In the final annalysis, that's all we can do; show the world through our own conduct, words and actions that we're not all like that. I have a lot of blessings in life. I have a comfortable apartment in an area that I'm finally starting to feel very familiar with. I still take the odd wrong turn but for the first time ever, I can actually imagine a day where I'll be so familiar with my surroundings as not to even have to think about them. Travelling around won't be the act of heavy concentration that it usually is for me. Starvation, freezing to death, and running completely out of money aren't concerns for me unless I did something incredibly foolish. I suppose anything is theoretically possible. It's hard to actually save up money especially with the odd unexpected expense or opportunity popping up. Grocery costs have gone up more than I expected. However, I can still hold my own fairly nicely. I've found a purpose and direction in life through my writing, recorrding events in this blog, and being where I can be of use to others. Unlike many families, my own is very supportive of me. Life on ODSP is so much harder for people without that advantage. I think of the kids at The Dam and hope that God sees fit to help them and their families maintain as healthy relationships as possible. When real life takes the stuffing out of you and crushes your hopes and dreams, it's been my family and some very good friends who have been there to help me pick up the pieces and cary on.

I've gotten up much later than intended after taking my sleeping aid of choice in the small hours being unable to drift off. I believe I'm skirting the edge of insomnia again and will take appropriate defensive measures. Thankfully, there's a lot going on this week. That tends to help. Also, June seems to be shaping up as a busy month overall. I have Minney coming over on thursday for computer assistance and a visit. It'll be good to see her again. There's the Dam tomorrow afternoon. The multiethnic conference covers the tenth through twelfth. The weekend after that, it appears I'll be camping with Ron and his crew of friends. That takes me right past the middle of the month and leaves me looking forward to Canada Day and my week away at Lake Jo. I'm very appreciative of how time just isn't dragging slowly along any more in my life. One or two days in a row with absolutely nothing happening can still be tougher to slog through especially on weekends. Periods where it rains often are becoming more oppressive for me. There have been a number of rainy days and I've noticed that they make me feel more gloomy than they did in earlier years. Whether it's an age-related thing or simply a reaction to having found more freedom outdoors and having that freedom eliminated by rain, or just being more sensitive to dampness in the air, I don't know.

Yesterday, I went to my youngest niece Alleah's christenning. She was very good during the service but people applauded after the baptism and I think that scared her a bit. The service stirred some old memories as it was very similar in ritual and form to what I remember growing up in an Anglican church. I don't believe I could ever go back to attending that kind of services again regularly. Too ritualistic, one was left with the feeling that if one didn't jump through X, Y, and Z hoops, you weren't a proper part of God's kingdom. My faith and innate sense of what's right tells me that the ongoing friendship between oneself and God is far more important. All that ritualistic back-and-forth just doesn't square with what worship is all about for me. Given my own period of wandering and then returning to faith in God, I trust that this will guard and keep her until she's truly ready to decide for herself, as I have, what she believes.

Staring someone's doomsday prediction in the teeth truly makes one conscious of God's gift to us of time. We still have time to wander, explore, live life as fully as our circumstances permit, and find our best potential. There's thankfully still time for us to enjoy what we have and to hope for still more opportunities to add to the richness and scope of our lives. One of these has come upon me this week. I had an excellent conversation with a man named Ryan Strunk. He's a programmer and long-time admirer of an old project I haven't thought much of in damned near a decade. It was a game called Sparkle. He believes he can program it into an audio arcade game, the very thing I had originally envisionned it as. It'll be a very long slow project. Both of us have other things on our plate. Having a game idea of mine actually programmed and playable has been a dream since childhood. It also gives me motivation to start tinkering with Goldwave and my large sound effects collection again. The experience I gain in sound combining and editing will serve me well years down the road when Enchantment's Twilight reaches a point in its development.One way or another, this Summer isn't going to be nearly as much of a creativity washout that last summer was. There's a whole lot more scope for hope on the social front. There'll be a lot more casual conversations with different people as I take greater advantage of the lake environment and perhaps the odd stop in Symposium Cafe for a meal or refreshing fruit smoothey or perhaps something stronger. Ideas are starting to emerge for Enchantment's Twilight. Nothing huge yet, but I'm just grateful it's moving at all at this stage. It adds to the sense that there are possibilities.

Riding the Wave of Life

Hello everyone. It's another tuesday morning. The weather hasn't been great over the past few days. I had a great time late last week though. We had a few very nice warm days. I spent quite a bit of time outdoors walking around the lake meeting people and reacquainting myself with the area. I'm not quite at the point of competence I was at the end of last Autumn but that'll come back quickly enough. The Trekker Breeze is working splendidly. It seems I'm not the only one on ODSP around here. I met a lady who has a couple of mental conditions which mean that her brain can only function fully for a few hours a day at most. The rest of the time, she finds it hard to focus on things clearly and get much done. I was able to get her laughing and that felt good. I hope I never have to find out what it's like to truly lose my mental faculties. That thought creeps me out even more than losing my hearing. Given how much I rely upon sound, that's saying something.

I've also been gearing up for tomorrow's TV interview for the Accessible Channel. It's nice to know people out there still care about games accessible to blind people and that my expertise in that area is still valued. Recently, I did a podcast with Serotek as well about games for the IOS devices. I'm just beginning to get into those on my iPHONE. Now if I could just get the creation of Enchantment's Twilight back in gear again,... well, I guess all there is to do is keep trying and be patient with myself. God knows I've tried forcing creative stuff to come out of my brain and it just won't until it's ready. Thank goodness the weather is finally getting nicer. I can go for walks and at least put myself in the path of potentially interesting inspirational people.

This latest May 21st end of the world prediction keeps popping up everywhere. My twitter followers are having endless fun discussing it. This is the very first supernatural world end prediction that I've been conscious of. The group made an earlier 1994 prediction apparently but I have absolutely no memory of that enterring into life at all back then. The 2000 end of world stuff was more based on man-made disaster. I certainly remember people quoting bible verses and the like but the real thing hoverring over everyone was the fear that machines would cause disasters by failing all over the world as the dates rolled over. This time, God, out of patience and full of wrath, is front and centre in the worst way possible. The ultimate dad throwing the ultimate tantrum. No more warnings and no more Mr. nice guy. Just all the "good" folk snatched away and five months of Hell on a shaking Earth.

I don't believe God has left us any sort of code to crack when the time is right or anything like that. It'll just happen when it happens. All one does by making predictions like this is set oneself up for failure and give skeptics yet more reason to be so. My major problem with what they say is that it's simply too capricious. The merciful loving God I believe in just wouldn't act as this group tells us the bible says that he will. It just doesn't jive for me. I don't claim to know God all that intimately. I'm a relatively recent Christian who has yet to read the whole bible. However, I believe we're still very far from any sort of point of no return. Also, the whole thing about churches being utterly useless since 1998 simply doesn't fit facts. It certainly gets you thinking though. How do groups like this get so much attention? Are people that desperate for an escape from this world that they'd welcome such cruelty for those who don't believe? What if all the effort, time and money pumpped into spreading this latest cry of wolf were directed to more worth-while ends?

In other prior incidents of predicting the world ending, we've seen people do extraordinary things, give away all they have being convinced that they'd be raptured and not need it, etc. However, there are a couple of different elements to this latest scenario. The horrid but relatively brief post-rapture period they describe wouldn't leave anybody in shape to actually make use of what was given away. Also, and this is by far the saddest element to all this, salvation will be utterly impossible after the 21st. This leaves approximately five months of earthquakes and supernaturally caused insect-bite agony for any who remain on Earth. Such pain wouldn't be any sort of last-ditch attempt to get peoples' attention. It would simply be God's final fit of anger, an utterly unmerciful, dismal, and hopeless winding down of time. Giving stuff away would therefore not do anybody the least bit of good. I'm left wondering what, if anything besides presumably praying, members of this fringe group are doing to prepare. You don't exactly need to pack stuff before being raptured, do you? I guess they're trying to "save" as many souls as possible as quickly as possible. If my experience on that journey to faith is anything to go by, that kind of "believe or miss out" argument just isn't a good place to start. Also, what happens after the 21st when they're inevitably proved to be wrong as all too many others have been before them? Apparently, not all such dissapointed? groups fade into the sunset after their chosen dates come and go. Will we see another sect emerge to somehow try and compete with the multitude of existing branches of Christianity? You'd think there'd be enough for everyone already. What will all those people do after the long weekend I fully expect to enjoy?

There isn't a whole lot else extraordinary to talk about. Podcasts, family visits, and various conversations have kept life moving fairly nicely along over the past while. Doing the Serotalk Tech chat and talking to the creator of StemStumper was a distinct pleasure. I look forward to any more such opportunities. After tomorrow's interesting trip to a Tv studio, I expect things will once again settle down. I don't have any plans for the long weekend. Presuming nice weather and no other happennings, I may go out and see what goes on down at the lake. I may go again to the multiethnic conference held by the reformed dinomination to which I belong which happens in early June. Other than that, my week away in early July at the Lake Joseph centre is the only other thing planned over the next hopefully warm and mostly dry months. I don't want a damp rainy Summer. I wish I had more people or a special lady to hang out with and go places with. However, one way or another, I intend to spend a lot more of this Summer outdoors. I'd love it if I could spend that time in conversations which built and lead to stable friendships, but can't bring myself to expect that after last Summer. Most likely, there'll be many pleasant conversations which may well inspire my creativity but won't really break any barriers which would let me onto a more connected sustained social plane. I'll hear about festivals or events which I'd love to attend with people but won't know anybody interested in going. Barring something drastic and unexpected, my road to really changing that state of affairs is going to be long and very slow as people gradually learn more about me and I them during brief passing conversation or through church. Twitter has really been helpful in keeping empty days moving along and feeling less like they've been lived in a vacuum. I'm still amazed at how good I'm feeling overall. I'm not used to being able to just get through even very dull days and not find myself trapped in a blue funk of no escape. Last saturday was another such gloomy day which could have, even should have, brought me down from whatever emotional pillar I seem to be on. However, I was able to enjoy it quite well. Overall, I just seem to be more accepting of how things are and on more of a positive track. Hard to believe that it's been like this since November.

Soon now, I'll be off to the Dam for another afternoon. One thing I've got to do over the next while is try and hook up with Steve now that he's back from India. I haven't had a good talk with him yet about his trip or what I've been up to over the past while. There's a lot to catch up with there. I've been fiddling more with Audioboo lately and figured out how to add pictures to my "boos" as they're called. Haven't gotten many comments on the ones I've taken already but I guess a lot of my followers are blind and wouldn't see them. One new addition I'm very happy to have is a couple of very comfortable slingback balcony chairs. They're far more comfortable than the plastic ones I've used up until now and it'll be much more pleasant sitting out on the balcony this Summer presuming no loud construction work. They're very porous so they shouldn't be carried off by the wind or be too wet from the rain.

Post Election Thoughts And Other Happennings

Hello everyone. It's been quite a week. Mainly, family events have predominated. My grandmother came from Winnipeg and I did quite a bit with her while she stayed with my parents. She was a bit overwhelmed by all the technology in my life during a brief stop in my apartment. It's such a different mode of existence than what she has known. The slot machines at the casino are more her speed. It's her favourite pastime. Joining her and my parents on a couple of excursions to said establishment, I can't say I'm at all more inclined to go there any more often than when she visits. I can justify it as a way to spend time with her and my family. It's good to hear her enjoying herself. She has more than earned the right to over a long life well lived. I do, of course, gamble only with some of the money she gave me. This time around, I actually won enough to pay for a couple of app's like Navigon for my iPHONE. Should anything happen to my Trekker Breeze, I'll at least have something to work with once I figured this app out.

Over the weekend, I celebrated my niece Ava's fifth birthday. That really spilled over into Monday, her actual birthday. Dan and Allison hosted a very well run happy party of kids at their house in Hamilton. Ava was far more happy to turn five this year than she was about becoming four last year. On Monday, I joined them for an outing to Chuck E. Cheese and had an enjoyable time helping carry tokens, pushing in the odd otherwise unreachable gas pedal as a good uncle ought, and hearing Ava and Amia enjoy themselves so very much. After that, we went back to my parents' house for more celebrating. I captured a little of it with a new app on my iPHONE called audioboo. It made for a very long but happy day that began with news of Osama bin Laden's death and ended with the formation of our new government.

On both subjects, my feelings are mixed but optimistic overall. Osama's death will very likely trigger revenge attacks. The man built his whole organization with the idea that he would very likely die sooner than later right from day one. Instead of one mastermind with a theoretically cohesive plan, we now have multiple heads on the snake free to strike at their own whim and all venom-spitting mad. Hope the Americans thought that through a bit. The man got better than he richly deserved. Were I a vengeful sort after retributive justice, the last thing I would have wanted would be for him to have died quickly. Perhaps, had he been chased by those operatives into a cave like everyone thought he was hiding in and left to rot there, that might have appeased some anger. However, he's just dead now. No information can be gleaned from his corpse. Nor can any further punishment be inflicted upon him other than that which God will certainly inflict. While his death prevents him from killing anybody else, it brings none of his victims back from the dead and elevates him to martyr status. Pandora's box has been well and truly opened.

Turning to the election we just had, I never thought things would be nearly so polarizing in outcome. Despite being a mainly Liberal-leaning man, I think the NDP will make a far better balance to harper. Jack struck me as the right man for that very important job provided he remains healthy. The Liberals can and must finally focus on cleaning house and regaining their consistency. Conservatives should look at this as an opportunity to show us more liberal-minded folk that they do actually care more than the negative campaign portrayals would have us believe. Harper has precisely what he's wanted now. "Give me a majority so I'm not perpetually hamstrung!" he asked us. Well, for better or worse, Canadians have given him that majority. We'll now at least stop wobbling about and head in a stable direction over the next while. That's something at least.

Conservatives do in fact care for those who are less fortunate. My father has been a staunch supporter of Conservatives for as long as I can remember. Despite that, he still very much values me and others in my predicament. Despite not having much prospect for steady jobs, we aren't of no value to him. I don't for a moment believe that all those who support the Conservative agenda ipso facto don't care about the environment, giving people second chances, etc. My father and I have had very different life experiences. He's seen the world of business largely work from his perspective. His efforts in school paid off with steady work which was available from very early on. He has remained with the same company General Electric, for his whole working life right up to an only slightly early retirement. He's been able to support his family well and kept a pretty healthy balance between work and the rest of life as far as I've been able to tell as his son.

I, in contrast, found that my education didn't lead to such a successful road. I've gotten to know many people whose efforts and gifts should have but weren't snapped up by big or small business. It's been a very different world for me than what the so-called experts predicted for my parents and I as I grew up. A world where virtue is often simply untapped. Where people can stay out of trouble, get a degree and still end up chronically unemployed. I've met too many people who have fallen through the cracks despite every effort not to and who had far better credentials than I. I can only hope that by the time the teens I try to be a good friend and mentor to at the Dam are ready, steady jobs are waiting for them. Hopefully, going with the devil we know was the right choice for that to happen. Everything depends on the willingness of this new parliament to sit down and really keep things together. The opposition has got to do a far better job at accepting that for better or worse, the Conservatives have won by a landslide and only oppose the will of the people where it really makes sense to and is necessary. The Conservative agenda was chosen in a pretty fair if somewhat too fear-driven personally negative election. I do so wish all the personal attacks could be done away with but am enough of a realist not to hold my breath. By the same token, I hope Mr. Harper listens to any objections and suggestions as he has said he would. The loudest message I think we've sent as Canadians is that we sure as shit don't want another election any time soon. We want things to get done in orderly and sensible fashion.

There's certainly room for some interesting developments. We've got a 19-year-old parliamentarian, the very first Green Party member MP, Quebec NDP members making a large part of our opposition in a party who has never been in that particular role federally before. They cleaned house in Quebec and devastated the Bloc. And no, reader. My optimism doesn't go far enough to believe that this means Quebec sovereignty is at last a dead horse. At best, it'll lie dormant for a while as we see how well Quebec interests are taken into account by Ottawa over the next while. I have a small hope that perhaps, at long last, some movement might be made toward healing that old tear in the fabric of our on the whole good nation. There are also something like thirty Liberals who have hung in there and survived the utterly crushing night for their party. A lot of very interesting pieces on the board now. Perhaps, there'll be more room for such individuals to make a real difference behind the scenes. Or, perhaps, that's just my incurable ever-present hope and optimism talking. I guess we'll all find out over the next while.

Happy Easter

Hello everyone. It's yet another Easter weekend. This year, it has been excellent thus far. I went out with Mark and Wendy for lunch at a place called The Fire Pit. The burger and fries were excellent. Have to go back and try their souvlaki at some point. Things seemed pretty dead there. Guess most people were doing other stuff. My computer has behaved itself very nicely this week. I have now acquired a time capsule and magic trackpad thanks to a generous financial gift from my grandmother. The Time capsule is a combination backup drive and router. Setting it up was very easy. Thankfully, I was familiar enough with the Mac way of doing things to get things going. I also have now produced an image of my current Windows state and copied it over onto the time capsule should the problem I encountered last week resurfice. I very much hope that it won't but can't know for certain. Still, it's nice to know that restoring to that point in time is far less of a headache to rebuild from. I also am able to transfer files between my netbook and the pc wirelessly using the time capsule as an intermediary drive. This will be very nice indeed when I'm out on the balcony this Summer.

This morning, I managed to walk to the mall and back by myself for the first time this year. That felt wonderful. It didn't go perfectly. I ended up at the wrong mall entrance going there and took one long wrong turn going back. However, the Trekker Breeze did its job and got me back on course with minimal fuss. Rose joined me for a coffee while I had brunch there. It always feels so much better to have someone across the table to chat with even when there's absolutely no chance for romantic attachment. We're too different in too many ways. She's an interesting lady whose mind is always ticking away. If there's anybody who I feel is likely to say something which gives me an inspirational idea for my writing, it's her. Also, when I need to know about animals, especially horses, she'll have the first-hand knowledge I'm after. She's also studied mythology among other things which can be very fertile ground for story strands and such.

Today and tomorrow, I'll be hearing as much of the Mushroom FM birthday bash as I can. Hard to believe they've been around for that long. It has certainly become something for which I'm very grateful. It's interesting how the Easter long weekend has revealed both the blind community at its worst in earlier years, and what is unarguably an example of us at our best this year. I can think back to at least two aweful examples where a lack of patience and short tempers have provoked disasterous damaging arguments within the online community. In both cases, I felt that the stakes were too high for me to stay out of them letting things spiral out of hand. It would seem so very odd to celebrate with family while feeling forced to engage in these out of control messes during the same long weekend. This year, in a wonderful act of redemptive contrast, I can sit here and join in the Mushroom FM birthday bash. This is an absolute triumph of the blind community. The presenters have drawn in a very large friendly audience who have proved to be a very stable restorative bunch to hang around with online. They really appreciate their listenners and are willing to engage in ongoing conversation with their audience members via email and twitter. I've gained many followers who are fellow listenners. A year ago, I was really hoping and striving for more offline "real world" friends and largely trying to turn away from the digital world. It seemed like such a hollow and meaningless place that I felt utterly trapped in. That's all changed now. I still hope for more engagement with people around me and less time in front of the computer. I'm gradually getting my wish there. Slowly, people are getting to know me more. This Summer should result in more of this as I encounter people on outdoor walks and possibly at the Dam. That stays open during the Summer also. Over the past while, the value of what I've acomplished and what I participate in online has been restored to me. There's a greater sense of being connected in a meaningful if somewhat different way. Twitter has certainly grown on me over the past while and I largely have Mushroom FM to thank for that.

Tomorrow, there's a church breakfast before the Easter service. It ought to make for a very cheerful morning with a community who, sunday by sunday, I've slowly become a part of. After that, I'll be joining my family for Easter dinner. It'll be great to catch up with everyone. My parents have enjoyed a trip along with their neighbours. My brother Dan has had laser sergery and begun the process of trying to switch from a career in restaurant management to being a firefighter. Who'd have ever thunk? Doubtless, I'll also hear lots about what my cute little nieces have been up to while they snarf down Easter treets and race around under sugar power. There's nothing planned for monday. However, there's a slight possibility I'll be woken up by a phone call telling me I've won $500 from Mushroom FM. Can't say I'd mind that at all. I've stumbled across a couple more free books about game development so I'll be looking through those over the next while to see if they have any lessons or ideas I might find useful. It would feel so good to get Enchantment's Twilight really moving again. When I finally finish the design document, I know I'll feel like a million bucks. That's quite a ways off though. It's good to feel a sense of the possibility of life; that new conversations and adventures might be waiting around the next corner or in the next hour. It's good to be at peace with myself and life in general. It's been a long time coming. I hope that all my readers enjoy a happy Easter long weekend weather or not they believe.