New Starts

Good Tuesday morning, everyone. I've been up for quite a while, since around five in fact. I've been awake since around three thirty but stayed in bed hoping for a tad more sleep which never came. Sleep and my lack of it have been taking centre stage lately as the day draws near for my sleep study. I'll be spending Thursday night in Credit Valley Hospital hooked up to God knows what and be expected nonetheless to sleep. Over the past while, I've had to keep careful track of when I eat, consume alcoholic or cafeinated beverages, eat anything which has cafein like chocolate, etc. I guess it's only natural to try and minimise this sort of thing when one is under a kind of observation but I've made a real effort not to change from my usual consumptive habits too much. It's a sort of microcosm of how knowing God watches us changes how we behave, hopefully for the better. Only in this case, of course, the objective is not to let the act of observation change your habbits at all. One thing's for shure. They'll certainly see that I'm not wasting their time. I've been through a lot of long days and nights lately. Plenty of time to think on pretty much everything under the sun as the seconds and minutes stretch out. Sara and I are growing ever closer in spirit if not in distance. She's got a busy month since her Easter is coming up and Lent factors into her church's calendar somewhat more promanantly than it did for my church. As choir director and because of the special services attendent on this season, it's one where she very much wants to attend her church. She feels guilty about our not getting together this month but she has also been sick recently. For me, there's no reason for guilt. During long distance relationships when you're not close enough to just pop out for coffee somewhere, that's going to happen. Our worlds have yet to fully integrate. It was wonderful seeing her in March and having her meet a good number of people who mean a great deal to me. At this point, we're very much in love. We can deal maturely with our differences and disagreements, have a lot of common interests, and a similar ethical outlook. Of course, I've felt this certain of another woman twice before. We'll take our time and build a good foundation before making any large life-altering commitments. Audioboo has been an excellent way for us to keep in contact and exchange ideas although the new app does seem a bit more prone to not upload longer messages in timely fashion. I've just finished a very nice tall Chai latte. Yes, damn it! It *was* worth the paperwork as was the beer I enjoyed yesterday! ! This is thankfully the last day of recording all the minute details of what sadly passes for my routine washroom, sleep, dinner and beverage-wise. I'm feeling quite good this morning. That's good since I'll be getting together with Linda, a lady who I've helpped in the past to understand her technology. Today, it's her new iPOD. I've never actually felt the latest generation of iPOD and never had access to Seri, one of its larger features. However, Voiceover, the appstore, and other such things are still new territory for her. These little gadgets can do an aweful lot and I'd like to be ultimately shure that she's getting the most possible bennefit from her investment. I think she has been hearing a lot about various apps and has visited Applevis. That's such a wonderful resource to have at one's disposal. As long as she knows to check on an app's accessibility first before obtaining it, she won't end up deleting a bunch of inaccessible apps. I don't mind a certain amount of clutter and am willing to stick my virtual neck out once in a while on the off chance I'll discover something worth informing others about. I get the sense that she wants to keep things very simple and uncluttered. I'm alright with that. My big thing is the awareness of one's choices. I want to make certain that people have the knowledge to share in what I've found so useful. In this case, that isn't nearly the issue that it was with the computer. People seem to have a much better sense going into the Apple universe of the kind of capabilities that their devices can attain. Change is certainly afoot pretty much all through life these days. I'll be taking on the role of disability contact person for my church. That'll be different and will better inform me of other peoples' needs and wishes. I hope to learn a lot and to help this spiritual community that has added such a rich depth to my life. I've also plunged into a new project. I'm going to design a kind of fantasy adventure trivia racing boardgame. I'll then attempt to program it using Inform7. As I'm far from certain of my ability to do this, I'll design the game so that I can run it manually if need be using my laptop and a dice rolling program. Provided I can actually program it in Inform7, it'll make for a productive way of testing many of the capabilities and procedures I'll need for Enchantment's Twilight down the road. Needless to say, running the game would be staggerringly easier if it ran itself. I also want to have a game that I can run for groups of people including possibly for fundraising events and such. There's the familiar itch to do something which has some sort of impact that doesn't look to swallow up the rest of life as I work on it. Hitting the sweet spot of still having trivia be at the heart of the game while making something substantively unique and different which adds genuine excitement but doesn't bog people down in details will be tricky. I have to keep things moving and try to have it so people enjoy listenning in to other people's turns. Game mechanics must be easily grasped as play progresses Everything has to be quick. Decisions must be important but uncomplicated. I have a basic idea of how to achieve this. It's now saturday afternoon. The sleep study has been done. It looked briefly like it would be cancelled due to technicians being sick but I got my slot back. The room I slept in was very comfortable and quiet. I ended up sleeping more than I expected to but that still didn't constitute a great sleep. Not surprising given all the wires I had attached to me. I now know what being a Borg would feel like. They ran a very quiet orderly lab at Credit Valley hospital as far as I could judge. They got enough recorded sleep time to do the study thank goodness. My technician was a kind Indian woman who was surprised to learn that I could live and manage on my own. I get the sense that she would have had many more questions for me had circumstances been different and I weren't supposed to wind down and go to sleep. She, in turn, answered some of my own. Like a lot of immigrants, she found that her medical credentials didn't count here unless she took exams. Needing to take care of her family, this career as a sleep technician was the closest she could manage given that she couldn't find time to do the exams. It must be a very frustrating choice to have to make. Do the right thing and be essentially penalised for it. How much collective good does our great and wonderful country keep stifling and throwing away? Beyond knowing that I slept for long enough for the purposes of the study, I'm just as ignorant about the nature of my sleep difficulties as I was before. I likely won't know more for the next four to six weeks. After all the data the slurped from me, this seems quite unfare. All that fuss and then, silence while life returns to what passes for normal. Still, I'm glad I got the damned thing done. Figuring I would likely need a day or more to recover, I didn't plan anything for the weekend. What ended up happenning was that I completely crashed late yesterday afternoon and slept through til around nine in the evening. I had a couple of hours of wide wakefulness and went to bed around eleven feeling tired. Of course, I woke up fully at just short of five A.M. I've been thankfully awake ever since with no erge to doze at all. I got my groceries this morning. No substitutions and nothing missing. It's all stowed away and ought to last me into May. Quite unexpectedly, I find myself with the strong desire for friends to be with and no way of whipping some up at such short notice. Online conversation will simply have to suffice presuming I find some later on. Luck just hasn't been with me on that score so far today. On the other hand, I've enjoyed four or five splendid podcasts. Two episodes of Spark and two of Under the Influence were all top-notch. I still have at least one of From Our Own Corespondants awaiting my pleasure. It's now sunday evening. The podcasts treated me very nicely indeed yesterday. Spark was particularly good as was the April 13th episode of From Our Own Corespondant which ended up with a very thoughtful reporter who visited a very special forested region of the Italian mountains where there are trees a thousand years old. It is from such places that the wood for those expensive violins is taken. A very poignant and thought-provoking ending. It was a special day for Cadets and Jems, two youth ministries of our church and presumably the wider Reformed dinomination. The kids did a terrific job and spoke of their experiences with obvious passion. This afternoon was given over to another top-notch Mosen Explosion show on Mushroom FM. Sara also tuned in so we tweeted to each other once in a while as the show progressed. Yesterday, finding myself not nearly as zonked out as I had feared I would, the absence of any company was pretty keenly felt. Today has largely made up for that. Church provided a good chunk of that sense of belonging as it nearly always has for these past years. Although still largely a connection limited to sundays, that feeling of being all but forgotten the rest of the week has faded over time. Things like the Mosen Explosion really help to take the edge off these sunday afternoons with nothing in them. However, I'll feel so much better when there's really someone else there who appreciates it too. I've longed for that and now, thanks to Sara, I find that I can really imagine a time when that dream will become real. This apartment is more than big enough for two people. She and I have found a steady kind of belonging with each other which has made itself felt far sooner than I would ever have expected. It doesn't seem like such pie in the sky thinking anymore. More like something which is almost certain to happen given the right time, effort, patience and natural process of building a solid foundation for a life well lived together. I've learned some pretty painful but necessary lessons about that over the years and thank God for giving me another chance to get things right. I have a whole lot to look forward to over the next while. This week will be pretty ordinary unless something really unexpected happens. However, saturday will see me taking my first big step into a new role as disability contact person for my church and the local area or group of churches. I'll be attending a conference on disability concerns. I expect to be getting more of the material emailed to me through the week. My laptop will doubtless see me through the day in fine style. Thanks to a nifty program called Qread, I can have all of the documents open and instantly accessible. Jarte will be my word processor of choice. That snappy little piece of code has become my writing platform of choice ever since I wrote Personal Power using it. Hard to believe that was published five years ago now. Monday morning has gotten off to an early five A.M. start. I played some more Swamp. The new version has some serious issues in terms of balance and painfully slow permanent progress. You lose everything whenever you get killed which is quite frequent in my case. It's hard to earn enough reputation to keep yourself supplied with ammunition let alone buy anything new. Character points come only when you advance a level which takes ages unless you have the rep or fuel to go on missions. Of course, in missions, there's no chance at all of finding loot. Still, there's enough of a draw for me to keep playing. It's a hard nut to crack as a game designer. You want people to really care that their character has been killed. Death simply must have its teeth. However, in a persistent multi-player game where the goal is to have people keep playing, there has to be some sense of building on prior accomplishment. Swamp gets that balance fundamentally wrong in my oppinion. It's too easy to be overrun and killed in circumstances where skill and reflexes just don't count for anything. Losing everthing you've gathered is too harsh a penalty when such fates are so likely. I think I've figured out a plausible happy medium for Land of Trivion. It's a tad brisk and not sunny but I figured it was time I cleanned off the balcony table and set the chairs back outside. EVen tucked away in a corner, it still ends up surprisingly dirty after Winter. Windex did a nice job as far as getting the dirt off goes. I won't know for certain until some working eyeballs have a look at it but it's certainly feeling smooth and clean now. If it warms up some more, I may go for a stroll around the lake or set up shop outside and enjoy the afternoon on the balcony.

A Wonderful Week

Hello everyone. For much of the start of this year, I've been ill with the flu. It kept me exhausted, stuffed, and not hearing much properly for a good number of weeks. I had to cancel my New Year's party and I can't even remember the last time that happened. Despite everything, I finally managed to get my review of the USB speakers finished and posted. Nice to have at least one new project up there. Not the best timing to do that as I had to pick my moments when my hearing seemed nearly normal and stop when it often became markedly degraded. I don't want to hear a good number of things for a while. Most especially, the movie Tomorrow Never Dies. I used that one for battery drain testing and will probably go two years before wanting to hear that story. Other than that, I can't say I've gotten a whole lot done other than reading. Books have kept me sane. Books as well as tweeting with friends. I went through quite a stretch when those things were about all I could focus on beyond basic chores. There was also a week in between illnesses when I felt good enough to go visit Sara and her family in Brantford. I had a great weekend with them. Sara's family are every bit as supportive and caring as my own. They were very accommodating. I very much look forward to getting to know more about them as I continue to get to know Sara. I believe I made a reasonably good impression overall. Her uncle Steve is a splendid tease and makes an interesting doubtless very helpful balance to Sara's tendency towards seriousness at times. He's mastered the art of getting her goat wonderfully. Where my parents have both retired, her's haven't yet done so and live very busy lives. They're very conscientious about their work as well as their family life much as my parents were before they retired. I often found myself thinking how sociologically interesting it would be to observe how they'll handle that same transition. One similarity between families is a high degree of cohesiveness. They had a party to co inside with the big football game. I got to meet other family members who came to celebrate. I also dozed off while sitting on a card stool. I caught myself before falling but it did alarm people I think. That sort of thing has happened to me before when I become uninvolved or disinterested in conversation or just tired. This was the first time I've ever felt that it might be somewhat dangerous though. I've since seen my doctor who is now going to book me into a sleep study to determine what's going on. It's one of those things that doubtless should have been looked into earlier but which I presumed was solely due to my blindness. Between that and my apparently loud snoring which I presumed had abated long ago, I've finally gotten to the point where I'm motivated to see where all this leads. Now that I'm in a relationship and likely to sleep in close proximity to at least one other person more often, it's worth getting a handle on this aspect of life. We had a pretty relaxed time hanging around the house, talking and listening to things I had on my laptop. Rocky was such a relaxed calm dog. Their other dog Angel was more excitable but never seemed to rouse Rocky to any great lengths. We didn't end up going anywhere in Brantford this time but I think there'll be more of that in future visits. Our outing to Sara's church was cancelled so I have yet to see what an Orthodox service might be like. Sara came back with me to spend a week away. Part of that was spent in my apartment. We had a good relaxing day there before Steve joined us for another evening and half day. We went out for brunch with my parents who had yet to meet Sara and were also delighted to see how Steve was doing. That went very well indeed. Sara made a very good first impression on them. They're very happy for us. Of course, ?Steve has gotten to know my parents about as much as I've come to know his over the years. It's one of those friendships that has really stood the tests of time and periods of separation very well all around. There's that sense that he and his family will be there through thick and thin come what may. A comforting pillar in life. I hope I've proved the same for him over the years Proceeding from that delicious brunch, we went into Toronto. Meeting up with Ramla, Steve's special lady, we spent the afternoon going to a specialty tea shop called David's as well as a Tim Horton's. I felt much like a bull in a china shop standing there with my full pack and laptop case on. Sara was also carrying her travel gear. In future excursions, we'll probably drop that gear off first. However, I believe I've finally concluded that my larger backpack is far better suited to these trips even when they're relatively short. I can put everything in one well-balanced bag. We hooked up with our mutual friend Michelle Mcquigge for a very good dinner at a nice pub. The food and company were both excellent. Michelle certainly has a good knowledge of what's where in Toronto. She also remains perky and a great conversationalist even after a day of hard work. The next day was Thursday. Despite a somewhat unpredictable storm we knew was on the way later in the evening, we stuck with our plans and went out to meet Earle, Shane and Meko at McDonald's for the afternoon. We all had a great time despite being a bit more spread out than I think any of us expected to be. Everyone got on well with each other. I had never before gotten to meet Shane despite chatting with him via electronic means and encountering his name often in emails. It's always fascinating when you get to put a voice and personal presence to the name you've heard read electronically and mentioned often by others. Like filling in the middle of a jigsaw puzzle. Sara fits in with my friends wonderfully so far. She's known some of them like Earle for stretches of life just as I have. Those stretches just didn't overlap as much. The blind community has that sort of small world property about it. It was great to see all of them. After we left McDonald's, Steve thought we should go for dinner at a Mexican place he knew. It was an excellent choice. Clearly, the friendly owner was familiar with my old friend. The special that night was some delicious beef stew. We all enjoyed our food and good conversation. Later, the storm was getting started in earnest. Steve wanted to get some drinks from the LCBO taking advantage of Sara and my "expertise" as he said. I suppose I have become somewhat widely experienced when it comes to beer. Sara knows more about wines and such. We certainly ended up enjoying what we chose. On the other hand, this last excursion meant that by the time we got to the point where we could walk back to Steve's parents' house, there was too much snow to do so safely. Thankfully, Mr. Murgaski was able to extricate us from that predicament. There was just no point in going anywhere on Friday. The full storm was still in progress and had dumped a lot of snow everywhere. This resulted in a very relaxing comfortable day hanging around the house. Rocky took centre stage getting plenty of pats and attention from Steve's nieces and pretty much all of us. He's just such a calm well-behaved and patient companion for Sara. I don't think I've ever encountered a more placid easy-going dog. She had to ration his food a bit to make it last an extra day and he took even that in perfect stride. I never really want to own or be responsible for a dog's well being but I already have a sense that I'll miss Rocky once he's retired at last. We stayed up quite late that last night with Steve. Ordering from www.justeat.ca proved to be a bit more of a lengthy process since the first place we chose had to reject our order. Their driver got into an accident due to the snowy conditions. Thankfully, our second choice worked out well. We enjoyed a dinner from a Canadian place which had everything from burgers to wings to pizza. We also enjoyed the alcohol Steve had bought the day before. Despite that day of rest and luxury, I was still somewhat tired when I reached home after we dropped off Sara in Brantford. So was Sara apparently. It was a marvellous week. I couldn't have asked for a better one to really start off our relationship in proper fashion. We had plenty of time to talk to each other and also plenty of time with other company to get to know how we might fit into each other's circles. I very much look forward to having Sara come down for another visit to my apartment. There are plenty more people for her to meet who are keen to make her acquaintance. I'm happy for that and will certainly oblige as circumstances permit. For me though, I'm still just revelling in having found someone with whom I can share some of my formerly solitary pursuits of reading, listening to audio dramas, and truly thinking about and discussing what we hear without fear that my partner will grow bored. It's not just some passing attraction. I think that's been well and truly established now. We really are a couple at the start of a journey of growing love, respect, trust and attraction. Life doesn't feel so on hold for me as it has in years past. The only down-side to the whole thing was that I seem to have caught a second flu or something right after I was certain of having gotten over the first one. That kept me from getting much done for another chunk of time. I drifted through the days and nights as insomnia also took a toll. However, by the time I actually got to see my doctor, I was pretty much getting over that second illness leaving just the sleep issues as an ongoing concern. Going for a sleep study will be interesting but I have a hard time picturing myself getting a lot of sleep with all sorts of stuff hooked up to me. Still, if they can figure out what's going on and steer me to ways of correcting the problem, I'm willing to try nearly anything. This seems to be one of those times in life where I'm being offered a chance at more engagement and interactivity with others. I've wanted such changes to take place for quite some time now but just couldn't seem to make it happen or hook up with people who were interested. I seem to have at last reached a kind of critical mass. After spending so much time alone in the apartment sick over the past while, I'd normally be feeling all sorts of cabin fever wishing I had more people to go places with or visit. However, there are enough people who'll do so when opportunity permits that I no longer have that disconnected sense. My time alone is less and less the prison it used to be because I know it won't normally stretch on for most of a month at a time. It's the first of March as I finally close in on the end of a blog entry that should have been done early in February after our wonderful week. I've had quite a lot to think about since then. A good many fascinating books I've read including the excellent Lost Fleet series. I've heard some great podcast, had nifty conversations with friends, and attended a couple of excellent church services. Mark Charles was our guest last Sunday and had a lot of really thought-provoking stuff to say. He's really walked the walk living in a traditional Native hogon with his family for years. One idea he had that really resonated with me was how the only reason we could relate to Jesus at all was because he did what most of us never do and didn't use the lifelines open to him. Instead, he completely and utterly chose God's will over his own and had the fortitude to see the messy business of earning our salvation through. He didn't have to, but he did. Mark pointed out that there's no value in our current consumeristic culture for not taking advantage of one's lifelines so as to better be able to relate to others less fortunate than ourselves and to deepen one's trust in God. I don't believe I could intentionally turn away from the blessings in my own life like that. I'm very glad that Jesus is an understanding fellow and forgives me my fears and worldly insecurities. My parents have given me a much appreciated early birthday present in the form of the money to purchase three sound effects collections from Sound Ideas. Thanks to this flexibility, I now have all the sounds I'll ever need to try my hand at podcasting as well as provide appropriately medieval sounds for both of the fantasy games I'm currently working on. The Boom Medieval Weapons library is a treasure trove of things like sword sounds, arrow flights, catapult shots, etc. None of the other sound effects collections I've acquired, the game-centric SFX Kit included, has enough of the medieval sounds to do a battle sequence or even personal weapons and armour real justice. At long last, my sound effects library seems very complete and suited to my needs as much as this is possible with these large multi-purpose royalty-free sound effects collections. At the moment, getting more seriously into sound editing is something I'm dreading a little. I know that things would go a lot better if I were able to master this skill though and not have to rely on another person who might not grasp how I want the game worlds to sound. Thankfully, Sara knows how to use Goldwave which is a reasonably powerful and accessible sound editor. She's offered to give me some lessons and I'll gladly take her up on that. God seems to keep moving the pieces I need into place. It's still hard to imagine even getting the design document fully worked out let alone having a finished functional game. However, that sense of utter impossibility is diminishing. One up-side of having been ill and insomniac for much of the last while is that there are these times of getting better. My sleep is more or less hap penning in the time slot I'd like it to. The flu or whatever it was has gone and my hearing is back to normal. I really should have gotten this blog entry out a week ago but I've been carried away by books and such. One of these was the Life of Pi. The film featured prominently in the early part of the Oscars that my family and company watched during my mom's birthday celebration at their house. I couldn't put the book down and read through it voraciously. I also got carried away with the Lost Fleet books. It's a well-realized possible far future universe with some excellent space battles. The characters could honestly do with some rounding out but they're not bad. I've just obtained the Hyperion series of books and look forward to beginning that apparently excellent journey. I've had numerous people recommend them to me. Over the past couple of days, I've finally read the last two books of the Hunger Games trilogy. I just couldn't put those down either. Hense, my hammering away here on Friday night. There's probably a whole lot more I should have blogged about. However, it's all sort of blurred into that zone called the foggy past. A whole lot of great moments of reflection, nifty conclusions, good points and thought-provoking stuff. My life abounds with such thank God. It's one of the many ways in which I'm truly fortunate; downright rich beyond measure. Increasingly, as I spend the days more awake and healthy, there's that drive to do something and give back somehow. I've begun going to the Dam again for movie nights now that I'm well enough not to conk out or something. Sparkle really needs my serious attention. That's going to be next week's big focus creativity-wise. That and being whatever help I can be to friends. The weekend beckons. There's church on Sunday and I may be getting together with Mark and Wendy tomorrow. Sara and I are beginning to think about when to get together this month. As things stand, she's likely to come my way. I love having her in the apartment here, and more of my friends want to meet her. That's always interesting for me to put people together and see what happens. We're both very prone to analyzing and thinking about people, language, religion, and all that stuff. Despite all the illness, this year's off to a very good start indeed. It's time to spell check and post this entry, kick back and let the weekend carry me along.

USB Speaker Comparative Roundup

USB Speaker Comparative Roundup By Michael Feir ++ Introductory Remarks: Being totally blind, I'm a man who truly appreciates good sound. Much of my time is spent writing, communicating, shopping, staying informed, reading books, playing games, listening to music, documentaries, described movies, audio dramas and pod casts on my computer. While acquiring good speakers for desktop computers is pretty straight-forward, finding a truly satisfactory set of USB speakers for use with one's ultra book or laptop has proved to be a harder proposition. While I don't expect the same quality of sound from travel speakers as from desktop computer speakers with sub-woofers and residential electricity, I want the best sound I can get while away from home. Having a sounds cape similar to one's normal working environment can help tremendously when it comes to getting into the right frame of mind for taking advantage of inspirations I have while travelling. I often find myself in situations where other people are doing things which I either can't do or have no interest in. When such circumstances arise, people tend to feel better if I can amuse myself while they're thus engaged. Also, being a collector of audio entertainment, I often have occasion to want to let others hear what's on my hard drive. Audio dramas, pod casts, or music can add wonderfully to time spent in good company. Having a good set of speakers is akin to having a colour TV rather than a black and white one. You're likely to notice a lot more sonic detail and enjoy what you're hearing more with a better set of speakers. Being on a fixed income means that I need to be pretty careful how I spend money particularly on luxury items. I read lots of reviews and carefully go through the rationale behind different approaches or choices. Every once in a while, I can save or otherwise acquire a little extra money and can set my sights a little higher than my usual low to mid-range. This time around, I chose to hedge my bets and buy both a high-end pair of speakers whose innovative approach intrigued me plus another kind which was more in my usual price range. This gives me a total of four varied approaches to the problem of how to get good sound from the limited power available through a laptop's USB port while taking portability and style into account. I don't find myself in such circumstances very often in life. With such plentitude of choice and time, I've let loose my inner geek in hopes of being helpful to others in search of good sound while on the move and on a budget. People will naturally wonder what my definition of "good quality sound" is. In my humble opinion, good quality sound does not consist in excessive volume or bass as common commercial wisdom would have us believe. It should have enough bass to do justice to explosions, bass instruments and such. One should be able to hear the overall position and detail of soundscapes; the wind rustling through the leaves of trees, birds, animals and insects in a forest. Too much bass generally means that the waves on an ocean and the creaking of ropes pulled tight by sails tend to unduly bury the call of gulls. Too much bass also tends to make conversations harder to hear over lower ambient noise given unnaturally greater presence by bass bias. Anyone who has gone to a movie theatre and come away with a head ache can testify to the detractions of too much volume. One tends not to be able to hear dialogue over louder noise and music. Chances are pretty good that while travelling, you aren't going to want speakers which put out as much volume as speakers designed for home use. Other people in the next hotel room/cabin/city block likely won't want to hear the same sound that you do. Sound imaging is crucial. One should be able to tell where things are located within a scene. Good stereo separation matters a great deal if you use speakers for more than merely filling a room with background music. It becomes absolutely indispensable when considering audio gaming. In that realm, one's prowess and pride hinge upon being able to have a keen awareness of where enemies or obstacles might be. To summarise, good sound has reasonable levels of volume and bass as well as good balance and sound imaging. When seeking a good pair of USB speakers, good sound naturally comes first in priority. However, there are other considerations including size, ruggedness, ease of setup and use, weight, and price. With each set of speakers, I'll provide descriptions, specifications and my thoughts on how these other considerations are addressed. Once these details have been dealt with, it'll be time for the main event. I'll take you on a crash tour of the gauntlet of tests I've taken these speakers through. Rather than a blow-by-blow recounting, I'll describe each test and then point out where speakers either excelled or came up short. For now though, we'll introduce the contenders: + The Tried and True: Logitech V20 Speakers These speakers have been my travel companions for well over five years. Slightly rectangular in shape, each speaker has a kickstand that folds out of the back making them about as stable as whatever surface they're set up on. They come in a protective travel case which zips closed having three compartments. One for each speaker plus an area in the centre for the two cables to be safely stored. The buttons on them are raised and easy to feel but are quite small. I've only made use of the volume buttons. The following more technical blurb was taken from the Internet: The Logitech V20s generate their sound with high dynamic headroom circuitry for enhanced volume with less distortion. Each speaker has Bass 2 Max-X high-excursion drivers and 3 pressure drivers. This optimizes bass response. Product Identifiers Brand Logitech MPN 970155-0914 Model V20 UPC 097855034038 Key Features Number Of Speakers 2 Max. Power Output 1 watt (RMS) Connection Type Wired Subwoofer Without Subwoofer Technical Features Speaker Frequency Response 70 - 20000 Hz THD 0.05 % Dimensions Speaker Width 6.25 in. Speaker Height 6.44 in. Speaker Depth 1.5 in. Speaker Weight 1.23 lb Miscellaneous Exterior Colour Black Release Date August, 2005 These have clearly been around the block a while. My pair still functions but is starting to show its age. The kickstands are getting a bit looser. The rubber feet on one speaker have come off and gone missing. Direct contact with a hard surface adds a slight but notable extra vibration to sound coming from it. These things aside, the speakers have stood up quite well to extensive heavy use. The sound you can get from these speakers is excellent provided that you don't push volume too high. Past around 70 to 80%, you will hear things get distorted especially when more bass is required. Even without really being able to function at maximum volume, the fullness and quality of sound produced is roughly that of a medium-quality boom box or built-in TV speakers. There is that sort of compartmented sense common to smaller speakers that detracts from realism but one becomes accustomed to it. The kickstands are part of the speakers and fold into grooves in the back of each speaker. The cables run out from each stand. The thicker cable ends in a USB connector which plugs into your laptop. The thinner cable ends in a plug which goes into a hole on the side of the other speaker. You can store the speakers in the case with this thinner cable always connected. Having the cables run through the kickstands and be essentially irreplaceable is the only worrisome drawback of these well-designed speakers. Should either the cables or kickstands break, you have a pair of useless speakers on your hands. Provided you can find a pair in good shape, you can expect quite good durability from them. Prices on Ebay seem to be in the $70 range. Even used, you're pretty much going to get your money's worth from these speakers provided that you care for them properly and don't tax them attempting to get more volume or bass than they can offer. These speakers offer some interesting enhancements for those who look in the speaker properties. There is a tab for tone allowing you to adjust the bass and treble output. The V20s also have built-in AGC or automatic gain control which can be found in the "custom" tab. All normally offered enhancements are also available for use. + Portable Taken to Extremes: Logitech Z305 Sound bar The Z305 is shaped rather like those boxes which hold a tube of toothpaste only with the corners and edges nicely rounded. This thick solid durably constructed plastic bar measures precisely 30 cm or one foot in length. The unit isn't heavy but is solid and has enough heft to let you know that you've got something of substance. If your laptop has especially weak hinges, this may not be the ideal solution for you as the extra weight might prove sufficient to shut your laptop's screen onto your fingers should the opened angle not be great enough. As long as there's some resistance to the movement of your screen, you'll be fine. The single necessary USB cable tucks neatly into a track-like groove running around the inside of the bottom of the speaker. The cable is relatively thick. Two grooved rubber pads cover much of the back of the Z305. They allow it to rest firmly on the back of your laptop without slipping sideways. Between these two rectangular pads is a fork-like two-pronged spring-loaded clamp which secures the Z305 to the bezel on the top of your laptop. The ends of the claw extensions are padded so you don't have any direct plastic on plastic pressure or vibrations. The reason the clamp is divided that way is so that the sound bar won't interfere with the small built-in web cams commonly housed near the top edge of laptops and net books. The top of the Z305 is where the clamp extends from. The only other feature is a small patch in the exact centre where a logo is. The front of the unit faces directly away from you when the Z305 is mounted on your laptop. It has three thankfully tactile slightly recessed buttons. Going left to right, they are volume down, mute, and volume up. The bottom of the Z305 has the cable storage guide and a small jack for plugging in an external audio source. Keep in mind that you'll still need to be hooked into a USB port for the speakers to have power. The left and right ends of the Z305 are where you'll find the square speakers capping the ends of the bar. This very simple very tactile layout makes the Z305 a refreshingly accessible addition to one's laptop kit. It's as portable as it gets perched securely on a laptop's monitor requiring no additional space to set up. Dimensions (H x W x D): 324 mm x 40.3 mm x 41.8 mm Couldn't obtain frequency range but I have yet to encounter any issues there. Current prices range from $36 to $59 Canadian. + Stow, Twist and Go: The Altec Lansing IML247 Orbit Speakers These two speakers are designed with maximum portability and neatness in mind. They travel locked together as a cylinder-like shape roughly the size of a tall can of beer with a little added diameter. The two cables are stored in hollow cavities in the rear of each speaker. Thankfully, you need not be overly fastidious when storing these cables. The compartments are large enough that you can sort of stuff them in rather than try to coil them as neatly as they come from the factory. The USB cable is built into the left speaker while the RCA cable attaching the two speakers issues from the right speaker. Thankfully, the USB cable should be long enough to make it possible in most cases to attach to a USB port not on the left of a computer. The RCA cable gives a little less than a metre of separation between the speakers. This is enough to create an adequate sound stage for someone sitting directly in front of them. These speakers can be had for around $30 Canadian. The following blurb was found on the Internet: Crystal-clear sound Two full-range neodymium drivers deliver pure, distinct full-spectrum audio. Surprisingly deep bass - Front firing ports deliver lows you can feel. Twist and split to listen, reconnect to pack + Hip to be Cubical: The Ufi Ucube Speakers Sleek, well-built and by far the most bulky, the Ucubes are also priced well above any of the other contenders. Expect to pay around $140 Canadian to get your hands on a pair of these puppies. The rugged build and easily replaceable cables speak to the LONG-TERM THINKING which has gone into these three-inche cubes. The grills at the front are sturdy and each has a very small symbol or logo embossed near the bottom centre. The other sides are smooth durable high-quality plastic. A thumbscrew on the back of each speaker allows the easy attachment of an angled aluminium stand which has a rectangular gap for the cables to pass through. The two cables themselves are notably thicker and higher quality than any found on the other speakers tested in this review. The real magic happens inside these boxes of sound. Ufi claims that these speakers deliver a full 170 degrees of stereo image due to their special balanced mode radiator [BMR] drivers. They also store up energy during quiet parts of audio in order to allow their Class D amplifiers to deliver 15W sound when called upon to do so. Does all this electronic audio wizardry truly yield better bang for the extra hundred bucks? Lets start the testing and find out. ++ Round 1: Bring On The Tunes Music is by far the most likely use to which people will put their speakers, so we'll start our battle royal on this familiar ground. I've tried to select songs and pieces of instrumental music which would help test both how extremes were dealt with as well as more average musical offerings. We'll start with Michael Logosar's piano piece called Linger. It's a simple delightful tune which reaches more into the higher ranges of the piano at times. The Altec Lansing Orbits give a sense of artificiality. To call it tinny wouldn't really be fair but it lacks body. The Logitech Z305 actually does more justice to the piece despite the smaller speaker size. The Ucubes come through very nicely giving you a much richer more polished feel. The V20s do fantastically as well but there's that compartmented sense that screams "small speakers!" that the Orbits are also somewhat guilty of producing. Next up was Kristine W.'s The Wonder of It All. This thought-provoking pop/dance track features a good pallet of guitar and keyboard plus a notable perhaps too heavy bass drum. This actually caused the Logitech V20s to distort whenever it sounded. None of the other speakers had this issue even when at maximum volume. The Orbits do give the symbols a degree of prominence that strikes me as somewhat odd. A high-pitched stringed instrument was also pretty much buried by the Orbits. The Z305 and Ucubes brought everything out very nicely in the piece as did the V20s. Five For Fighting's Slice gives more of a bass line and again features symbols. The Ucubes did splendidly with this track keeping everything sounding natural and in balance. The Logitech Z305 did well but the symbols stuck out a tad more than I would have expected. The orbits didn't have that problem but just didn't bring out the more bass elements very well overall. The V20s and Ucubes did a very good job with this track. King Conga's Something Good is a cheery track that should have more than a hint of bass plus mainly mid-range singing and instrumentation. The Orbits failed miserably with this track reminding me strongly of an old underpowered radio I once owned. The Z305 actually handled this track about the best pumping out enough oomph to have you feel the bass elements without steeling anybody else's show. The Z305 claims to put out 360-degree sound and lives up to that with enough power to fill a dorm room or office nicely. For music, it stacks up remarkably even against the Ucubes. These Ucubes gave this piece a more live less processed sound. Natural is the word that most easily springs to mind. The Z305s leave one with a sense of compression where the Ucubes give a more spacious feel. Over all, I'd say the Ucubes came out ahead. Their sound staging and balance just can't be beet and you easily might think them a pair of mid-range fully powered desktop speakers with the subwoofer turned down. The power is a bit lacking at times but the tone and spaciousness are splendid. To be fair here, the Logitech V20s offer more flexibility which can really reward a listener who knows how to put the various enhancements and extras to good use. Sadly, despite my extensive experience with them, I am simply not such an audiophile. While you'd always have a more contained sound than the Ucubes, it could be tweaked to very good quality. However, the older drivers of the V20s mean that modern systems can't deal with higher volumes as well leading to distortion. However, for strictly listening to music, the Z305s offer an incredibly portable boom box equivalent as an alternative. I was very impressed with the amount of bass one could get from its small speakers. I expected the Orbits to fair better than they did with these tunes. They too often leave one with a powerful sense of their smallness. However, at their lower $30 price range, they're still a good cut above your typical built-in laptop speakers. This is even more especially the case with today's ultra-thin laptops. ++ Round 2: Going With The Show "What we do in life echoes in eternity." General Maximus concludes his speech to the Roman soldiers under his command. An archer fires a flaming arrow into the air as a signal to the main body of the army. This arrow actually seems to go upwards when you listen with the Ucube speakers. Undoubtedly, this is partially due to the upward angle that their stands set them at. The same goes for the Logitech V20 speakers. With the orbits, there's no upward sense despite the slight upward angle the kickstands put them on. However, there's at least a good two-dimensional sense of where things go. The Ucubes and V20s make the forest surroundings obvious to the astute listener. The Z305 and Orbits make it somewhat less clear that maximus is anywhere near a forest. A little later in the battle, Maximus and his cavalry charge from behind the barbarians but into the firestorm being unleashed via catapults and archers. The thunder of charging horses is portrayed wonderfully by the V20 speakers and Ucubes. The Orbits and Z305 do a comparatively passable job of this. The Orbits can't quite manage the same bass as the Z305s but offer far better sound staging. The Z305s suffer from that critical weakness with directional information. You get all the noise with more punch than the Orbits but it's stretched out left and right like a canvas. Other than left and right, there's just no telling where something might be within the sound bubble produced by the Z305s. It's designed to surround you in an envelope of sound. All well and good for filling a room with music but lacking clarity much as a black and white TV might for sighted people. A police raid is led by Inspector James Mclevy. A whistle is blown and officers burst into the house. The inspector makes his way upstairs alone in pursuit of a criminal named Henry. On the Ucube speakers, you can quite easily tell the difference between rooms from the main room to the one in which Mclevy finds his quarry. This change is also quite obvious on the V20s and Z305. The Orbits fall short of the mark here. Without change in noise level like going from a crowded to a quiet room, it can be harder to tell that a change in setting has in fact occurred. When Henry decides to attempt to leap out a window towards a building that's too far away, his anguished cry of despair clearly comes from outside. The subtle street ambience and quiet thump when his body falls upon that street clearly register on the Ucubes. Again, the Orbits and Z305 offer a choice between more directional awareness on one hand and more distinctive bass on the other. Later in the episode, Inspector McLevy has gotten himself into a rather bad spot. He finds himself wounded, bound and gagged being rowed far enough out to sea so he can be inconspicuously murdered by a psychotic criminal gleeful at this unexpected chance for revenge. Mclevy can only moan due to the filthy rag blocking his speech while the fiendish Allan Grant rows and talks. The waves come through well enough on all of the speakers but the creek of the oars was easier to pick out and more convincing on the V20s, Ucubes and Z305s. The seascape sounded somewhat confined on the Orbits. When the police boat comes onto the scene, I noticed the engine rumble perhaps a second sooner on the V20s and Ucubes than on the other speakers. The time our poor dogged inspector spends under the water nearly drowning has muted watery atmosphere as we follow him down into the depths which is more detailed on the Ucubes. The V20s overrode the subtle elements of water with the bass wash as did the Z305s. The Orbits actually came out ahead of the Z305s here letting more of that subtlety be heard. Aboard the stealth boat owned by the sinister Elliot Carver, James Bond is facing Mr. Carver in a war of words and wits as is customary before death and destruction. A British destroyer is firing on the stealth ship. The cannon shells fly through the air and pummel the ship. The Ucubes and Z305 do a great job of giving cannon shots and shell flights a degree of heaviness. As usual, the Z305 provides more bass while the Orbits give directional clarity to the mayhem. One problem with the Ucubes which became rather apparent in this movie numerous times was that the quieter sections of dialogue could be hard to hear. I know what you're thinking. "Quieter sections of a James Bond movie?" Surprising as it might seem, there actually are some. I suspect that during such quiet portions, the power output is lowered a little too much in an effort to store power for the louder portions. Turning on the loudness equalization enhancement within the speaker properties dialogue of Windows seems to help somewhat with this but doesn't entirely eliminate the problem. I have yet to notice this problem come up in music or even audio dramas which you'd think would be long enough to have it occur. Our final scene takes us into the first class dining car aboard a sabotaged train where the great detective Sexton Blake and his "plucky assistant Tinker" are investigating murders which have taken place. Sexton has made his arrival and accused Professor Q of these crimes. This is in fact correct as the professor himself admits. He then shoots at Sexton and escapes onto the roof of the train. The Ucubes portray this big budget audio drama in full glory with people nicely spaced in the dining car, railway sounds, a brief but fierce volley of bullets that you'd think would kill everyone in the dining car, and the professor's flying auto gyro whirring up and around as he escapes into the air. The Logitech V20s also do a capital job. In fact, they seem to give a better sense of weight and height to the sound than the Ucubes. As usual, the Orbits lack bass punch but do well with sound spacing the Z305s favour the reverse circumstances. Over all, I would have to give the Ucubes the win here with the Logitech V20s taking second place. The Z305s offer such awesome portability and bass despite their small size that I'd give them third place despite the sacrifice of good sound imaging. You could listen while in the back seat of a car and everyone could enjoy the surprisingly rich audio. The Orbits offer superior directional awareness. Provided you have a stable surface to set them up on, they would be preferable where sound motion is an important feature of the content being listened to. ++ Round 3: Gaming Smack down To be suitable for gaming, speakers need to deliver good situational awareness to the player in front of the keyboard. Failure to do this makes a set of speakers suitable only for games in which good sound positioning isn't a factor. The Z305's only Achilles's heel pretty much removes it from this section of the competition. All well and good if sound is simply window dressing. Trivia games, text adventures, and other kinds of game can fall into this category. In that case, the Z305s will more than suffice. For games demanding good reflexes and hearing, we must look to our other three options which we'll do for this round. Lets start at the race track. Top speed 3 is an excellent free multi-player car racing game put out by: www.playinginthedark.com The track and where you are upon it is conveyed via the loudness and position of your engine. The quieter that engine gets, the closer you are to an edge of the track. At the same time, optional announcements give details of how sharp upcoming turns are and where your nearest opponents are. You also hear where any close opponents are via their engine noise. It's quite easy to become confused as to which engine is yours. If that happens, you have a horn which will reveal your left-to-right stereo position allowing you to hone in on the noise of your own engine. The Belgium track is a favorite of mine. It features a moderate left turn followed immediately by a nasty hairpin turn to the right. It takes nerves of steel and a very good grasp of how close you are to the edges of the track to take this hairpin turn at anywhere near full speed. Provided one's opponents are close when you enter the turn, it is possible to cause the computer controlled cars to crash into the side of the track while trying to negotiate the turn. This gives you a vital head start before they can recover from crashing and achieve top speed. Practice makes perfect they say. With that in mind, I tried to win a seven-car race on Belgium track multiple times with each set of speakers. The Logitech V20s and Ucubes truly shine when it comes to sound imaging and sound quality. This makes playing sound-intensive games natural and intuitive. On the Orbits, sound staging is harder to judge at the edges. I had several collisions or drove off the track due to not being able to quite judge where things were. Q9 is a simple sidescroller which has you, a cute little alien creature jump over pits and fight monsters in order to find your way off Earth. It's very suitable for play with speakers. The Orbits are a little more problematic due to their somewhat inferior sound staging. I got smashed by monsters who I couldn't even detect until they were nearly on my game character. There just wasn't enough time to react. Given enough time and attention, people should be able to accustom themselves to the Orbits. It may simply take longer than it would with the V20s or Ucubes. The Ucubes have proved to be most excellent for audio gaming. I've never had a pair of speakers which staged various game elements so nicely. They even beet the V20s substantially. I had initial concerns that the BMR drivers and DSP adjustments to sound might inhibit proper game play. However, this doesn't seem to be an issue. ++ Conclusions: As I had anticipated, the Ucubes from Ufi clearly came out on top in terms of sound quality. Their notable bulk and the inability to control the DSP effect and procedures which make the speakers so energy efficient are a minor nuisance at times as when quiet dialogue within a movie is, I strongly suspect, being rendered too quiet by them. However, most of the time, this lack of optionality won't hinder one's enjoyment in the least. One can still employ all of the standard enhancements offered by Windows or whatever operating system one is using so a good deal of fine-tuning is still quite possible for the discerning listener. This balanced mode radiator technology is still in its early days in terms of general public use and will doubtless be improved upon over time. The Ucubes introduce it at a higher price than I'd judge warranted. One can get very nearly as good sound from the Logitech V20s which have existed since 2005 given a little familiarity with the adjustments made available through the Windows speaker properties and enhancements. Doubtless, there are also blue tooth or other wireless battery-powered speakers offering similar sound quality for a comparably cheaper price. However, that being said, these speakers employ the technology in fine style giving wonderfully clear stereo sound via USB port. The cables detach and are easily replaced with regular RCA and micro-usb cables. I have already had occasion to be profoundly thankful for this since I failed to re-pack the micro-usb cable after using them away from home. The speakers themselves are sturdy and well-built. Mid-range and high sound is produced absolutely splendidly and bass isn't really all that lacking at least to my ears. Also, the sound produced doesn't have that small speaker boom box sort of contained quality. It fills a room with very natural ambience. Overall, I'd give these speakers a 9 out of ten. They could easily have gotten a perfect ten had more control over the DSP processes been offered perhaps via small buttons on the speakers themselves so that no software download or CD would be required. There's much to appreciate about the whole plug-and-play philosophy. People who take pleasure in good sound will definitely get their money's worth from these speakers. They're clearly built to last. Despite their age, the Logitech V20 speakers have stood the test of time remarkably well. They're lighter and less bulky than the Ucubes and come in a very practical protective case. Depending on one's skill and knowledge of Windows adjustments, they can even out-shine the Ucubes in some contexts. A treasure very much worth pursuing. The real race was between the Logitech Z305 and Altec Lansing Orbits. The winner here depends on how much directional awareness of sound matters to you. If it does, the orbits deliver that far better than the Z305. When it comes to surprisingly good sound and unbeatable portability, you have to give the budget speaker victory to the Z305. It can ride atop one's laptop eliminating the need for a larger lap desk or other stable flat serf ice. Due to their very different uses, I travel with both the Ucubes and Z305 in my laptop bag. Although better for directional sound, compact and solidly built, the Orbits simply can't keep up with the competition and must take last place in this testing marathon. You truly do get what you pay for. That pretty much sums it all up. I hope this comparative review of USB speakers has been as enjoyable and informative to read as it was to produce. I welcome any comments or questions either via email at: michael.feir@gmail.com or left as comments below this blog entry.

A New Year Begins

Hello everyone. Happy New Year's Eve. Sadly, a holiday case of the flu has forced me to sideline myself and cancel what would have been a most excellent party here. I kept thinking it would go away in time and it kept not doing so. Eventually, I had to do the responsible thing. Anybody who has any knowledge of my past and my recent long awaited good fortune in the form of Sara will have some understanding of what a painful decision that was for me to make. I had stocked up with supplies, called Piel Housing to inform them who was staying over as my lease requires, etc. A good number of my friends both new and old would have shown up. However, I couldn't face the prospect of possibly giving any of these good people this flu that has wrecked this holiday season for my family and I.

Christmas went ahead. Short of plague or life-threatening illness, I don't know that anything could have stopped that from happening. Everyone rose to the occasion and Christmas was a big success. I got a splendid audioboo of the present opening that came out far better than I thought it would. Sadly, I didn't think to take a picture. My nieces had an absolute blast. As usual, getting them to sit and enjoy the excellent Christmas dinner proved to be an impossibility. There was just so much new and nifty to play with. I imagine that'll start to change soon as expectations of good behaviour take more of a firm hold as they grow older. Everyone seemed to like what they got and really enjoy the day. Given the condition in which I now find myself, I'm very glad of this.

After Christmas, I kept thinking that the various changes in symptom were signs of me getting over this bug. I had a feverish night of being incredibly hot but with the consolation of far less stuffiness. When that went away leaving me chilled and achy, I figured things were running their course. However, the stuffiness has since returned. I've gone through a great many tissues which festooned my garbage cans. I've eaten lots of soup and other canned food. It's hard to plan more proper use of the vegetables and frozen meat when you're not certain which meals you'll be both hungry and conscious for. I've done my best. The extra supplies I got for the party will either keep until a hoped for gathering later this month or will stand me in good stead over the next while and be replaced in good time. Dayquil and Niquil are once again proving their worth giving me welcome re leaf and likely preventing me having a much worse time of it.

I'm far from the only one whose holiday plans have been thwarted by the flu this year. It seems to be reaching its peek over the holidays this year. Thankfully, all my friends seem to have avoided a similar fate to mine. I hope I've helped keep it that way and that they'll be able to join me for a gathering once I've recovered. It'll be awesome fun having them meet Sara and for her to begin to know the people who've made such a positive difference in my life. I'll just have to exercise the patience I seem to be known for.

I'm not immune to bitterness though. This positively sucks! It would have been a terrific beginning to this new chapter in life. There are some who seem to think I can be too cheerful about things. I'm pretty good at finding the bright side of things including some small consolations here. Nonetheless, I keenly looked forward to what would have soon been started. Making the calls to cancel it was really not fun.

Having said that, I thankfully have the ability to take a longer view. I'm in for a tremendously promising year. I've at last been found by a very special lady who seems to be everything I've hoped for in a partner. What's more, she's actually seriously interested in something beyond friendship with me. That's absolutely staggering in and of itself. There's also prospects for more interesting gatherings with both old friends and new. There's work on a few creative projects plus some interesting beta testing coming up. Add to that the many recent additions to my radio drama and audio library. Some interesting opportunities are presenting themselves to some good friends and it'll be very interesting seeing how things pan out there. I think I'm in for some interesting spiritual discoveries and theological discussions too. Even faced with current disappointment and discomforts, I still count myself a very fortunate man indeed.

It's early on New Year's day. I didn't plan to wake up at just shy of four. However, a dream where I was crushed by collapsing rubble inside the basement of an old house can put coffee to utter shame. I figured I'd best get up and continue working on this blog entry. If it comes again at all today, it'll take its sweet time. New Year's Eve was as enjoyable as humanly possible given the circumstances. I had a great Skype call with Sara and Rose. I'm glad those two got to be introduced at least virtually. Twitter also proved marvellous as has Audioboo. In particular, I got to hear an excellent boo of what that magic moment of transition from one year to the next sounded like in the Philippines. Pat Bouchard got a terrific recording while in the company of another of my Twitter friends Hannah Mae Aldesa. Pat's gone over there to complete studies in computer programming or something like that and they're providing hospitality. It sounds like he's having quite an interesting time of it. What a different approach to it all. You can't even tell when the moment occurs. It's just one big continuous party whose structure and tempo seems hard to define. Perhaps, there's more visual focus which Audioboo wouldn't capture. Have a listen to this young adventurous man. Pretty damned spectacular. Just follow this link:


http://t.co/ZiarzuOJ

I don't know about you, but I couldn't help thinking of my friend Steve Murgaski as I listened to that. I would quite enjoy getting those two in front of some beer whenever Pat returns to Canada. I can't wait to see Steve and company once I'm over this blasted bug. I'm still slightly stuffed and coughing. I also feel far from fully rested. I need more sleep if I can grab it in a couple hours. I have the sense that I'll need to crash at some point today but look forward to dinner with my parents. Tomorrow, things will just carry on. Hopefully, Rose can get the computer I've gotten ready for her some time this week when I'm conscious and present. It'll be good to clear that and its old peripherals out of my small storage room. As far as I could judge with my somewhat flu-dulled hearing, it seems in good working order. I've even managed to find the drivers for my discontinued Trendnet N WIFI adaptor. That was the only real snag in the whole process of getting it up and running. I'm pretty confident that it'll serve her as well as something so old and well used can.

This has been quite an interesting year. I wouldn't even know where to begin my customary reflections. The many unfortunate incidents of needless gun violence in both Canada and the US. Shootings in very public locales in busy times. Many incidents were the results of unstable people who somehow got access to very powerful weapons. A bunch were gang-related. You'd think gangs would be rather more careful about collateral damage. I wonder whether anything concrete will come out of all the carnage. The NRA seems to stifle any attempt to better control who can legally own even military assault weapons. Canada at least has a better handle on things but needs to find a way to rid us of criminals who obtain and use guns in support of crimes. I think it's a clear sign that in our quest for our individual rights, we've lost entirely too much of what holds society together. Cohesion and empathy have gone way down. There are, however, echoes of those things that might still be re-ignited. There's still a longing for a life more inclusive and less divisive. I think of the people who I've volunteered with at the Dam. They've hung onto that dream and found ways of trying to help it happen. Many of the movies I've watch with the teens there evoke that sort of consciousness. How much of that really gets through remains a mystery to me on the whole. I'm just not that involved in their life situations. I guess the real important thing is that I'm willing and able to put myself in that space of helpful soul. Perhaps, more clear-cut answers will reveal themselves in this coming year.

The two big scientific stories this year have got to be the most inspirational in over a decade. The safe landing and explorations of Curiosity have fascinated people. No life-altering information has come to light so far, but it's still early days. Same goes for the discovery of the Higgs Boson particle. I remember my secondary school science teacher talking about it decades ago. It was so vexing that this particle just couldn't be proven to exist. Now, that big stumbling block has been removed. As with the Curiosity vehicle on Mars, the large hadron collider is also really just getting started. Quantum computing is also seemingly right around the corner. I've read just enough science fiction and had just enough to drink so that a dim understanding of the ramifications of societal change quantum computing might offer us is possible for me. It's going to be absolutely earth-shaking when it really takes off.

There have been so many interesting things both in my own life and in the wider world. In better health and circumstances, I would likely have more to set down here. Even over the past couple of months, we've lived through Sandy, that huge tropical storm. We've also seen the last widely discussed possible doomsday prediction come and go. May the Mayans rest easy. They at least left plenty of room for interpretation unlike a certain Mr. Camping. I do believe we're fresh out of doomsdays. Perhaps, that'll help more people start to look forward and try to help build a better future for all of us. I can still hope.

One of the areas of tremendous success for me this past year was in acquiring long saught after recorded books and audio dramas to add to my greatly enlarged library. Audible has been a gold mine when it comes to finding complete series covered by the same narrator. the Prydain chronicles is the last remaining fantasy series I have yet to obtain which I consider having influenced me greatly while growing up. I'll be able to complete that whole phase of collection early next month thanks to my Grandmother's generocity. A new series I'm keenly looking forward to is the KIng Killer Chronicles by Pat Rutherford which I plan to purchase once the third book in the trillogy has been released in audio format. My wishlist on Audible has grown to something over a hundred titles now so there's lots more to acquire. What I really didn't expect was that Audible would help me acquire so many excellent audio dramas that were otherwise unobtainable. The Inspector McLevy and Further Adventures of Sherlock Holmes being two stunningly unexpected finds. The CNIB Digital library has also offered up some splendid reading and made old favorites like Larry Niven's Footfall and Michael Crichton's Congo available once again. So much excellent narration was on those old four-track tapes.

For me, hope really sums everything up. The past year has given me quite a lot of that. A chance for a lasting stable love with Sara is the very surprising pinnacle of that. Seeing this relationship off to a good start is definitely at the top of my list. I know that in doing so, areas of myself which have largely starved and wilted over the past while are at last going to have space to grow properly. Having a special lady in life constitutes a very important part of my core sense of a fully realized adult life. It makes more of a difference than anybody else could quite understand. I've made a kind of peace with the lack of a job and the cascading lack of opportunity that entails. This wasn't easy at all and took years of soul-searching, creativity and frankly, anger management. It really hurts like hell to want to participate fully in society and feel utterly barred from doing so despite all the good qualities people say you have. I don't know that I ever could have come to a similar place where love is concerned. I've certainly reached a point where I can cope with the lack and find enjoyment without a female companion but it's still very much an inner struggle. Thankfully, it's one I need no longer contend with. Not for now, and perhaps never again either. Sara and I are continually surprised by how well we seem to click.

My creative projects await my attention as they probably always will. There's always going to be something I'm working on even if only slowly at times. I hope that this coming year sees a great deal more progress on that front. I've acquired a couple of interesting new books this year and still have to re-read my earlier finds more closely. I'm very hopeful that my experiences with Sara as we see where our relationship goes plus more excursions with friends will further feed my writing.

There's my home here which now has reached a state of completion in terms of furnishing. As a single man, there's really not anything else I think I might need. Things are about as perfect now as I could ever have imagined them being in terms of home facilities. It's taken a while to get to this point, but I do believe I've at last arrived there. I've succeeded in making a haven for myself and any friends or guests who might choose to visit me here. A place where I can both take care of myself and share my blessings with others.

It's now Friday morning. Approaching two thirty as I once again take up this entry. A hot cup of cider and a cookie await my pleasure on my desk. The flu hasn't quite let go of me yet but I'm coughing less often and using notably less tissue. I'm tentatively taking those as hopeful signs. I seem to have a little more energy for periods of the day but am still finding it necessary to sleep at inopportune times. Then, of course, I find myself awake at absurd times like now. The past few days have been rather uneventful. My new headset arrived and will be very adequate to my needs both for playing Swamp and while travelling with my laptop. The Logitech G330 doesn't even come close to the better headsets I've owned but then, I didn't pay nearly as much for them. They ought to do alright until I can really afford getting a better pair when these eventually ware out. One thing that very much recommends them is the comfort factor. They're light and very nicely padded. You can wear these for extended periods without begrudging the necessity. The mic does its job but again, is nothing spectacular.

The only package still on the way here are the lapdesks I ordered. The Lapgear Traveller lapdesks stand up very well in reviews and genuinely strike me as precisely what I'm after. A solid one-piece design with durable non-slip serf ice and microbead padding for long-term comfort. They're taking somewhat longer to get here. I ordered a second one of these for Sara. After hearing something rattling around in hers that was obviously picked up of some soft serf ice she used it on, I figured that this might make a practical first token of my growing affection for her.

It's now Friday afternoon. The lapdesks arrived and are pretty much as I suspected they'd turn out. They ought to serve us both very well. Just before I took delivery of the lapdesks, we had our first fire alarm of the new year. It was a small genuine fire I'm pretty sure. It may even have been on my level. After they announced that people could return to their suites, I opened the door and definitely smelled smoke. I've gotten things to the stage where I can just put the laptop and now my new lapdesk into the case and be ready to walk out within a minute of the alarm going off. I noticed they didn't announce which level the incident was actually on this time. This perfectly exemplifies why I don't just head out before I know something about a fire in progress. Had that been a big one on my level, it could have been far more dangerous to move out into it than to stay in the apartment and use a wet towl to block anywhere smoke was getting in. The doors here have steel cores and walls are concrete.

Informationally speaking, as long as I leave with that case and my iPHONE, I lose next to nothing at all. If I have time to grab a few nearby accessories like the bone conduction headset that's typically plugged in and charging at my desk, I lose no funcionality at all. Anything much beyond that would require advanced notice of an impending disaster. It's hard to hear a knock at the door from within the bedroom here so I'd rather not chance going for clothes and personal supplies in there. I've thought about why that is lately as I've spent a larger amount of time than I normally would lying down in bed. I don't think my apartment is any more than ten metres long end to end although perhaps it's close to that from the far bedroom wall to the door. The carpetting in the bedroom is much thicker than in the main apartment and seems to make the room disproportionately quieter. There's absolutely nothing else other than the bed that would absorb so much of the ambient sound. The blinds are hard plastic and the walls are ordinary.

Friday evening has arrived now. I've finished off the last of the pizza I ordered a couple days ago. Tomorrow, we'll see how a bacon and egg breakfast turns out. I have soup and other easy options ready to hand for supper depending on how things go. There'll doubtless be interesting stuff online to listen to. Eventually, I presume they'll put up the first episode of Under the Influence, Terry Oriley's excellent show about advertising and marketting. I've thoroughly enjoyed each episode of the first couple seasons and keenly look forward to this one. Spark is also staying strong and interesting these days. I doubt I'll keep even anywhere near up to date with all my podcasts with so much else likely to happen over the next year. I feel like it's pretty much bound to be a great one in so many ways. I realise that a large part of that optimism is due to Sara's appearance in my life. I guess I had simply forgotten just how much finding someone special can change. I hadn't realised how jaded I was slowly becoming. There's just so much to look forward to once I've ditched this flu bug. Hopefully, that won't be to lenghty a process. At least there's plenty to read here.

Where Faith Meets Fun and Fantasy

Where Faith Meets Fun and Fantasy

By Michael Feir

As a game developer and a believer, I've taken a keen interest in where these two important spheres of my life intersect. Hoping to create a game which helps bridge the gap between people and faith, I've been wrestling with two key issues for quite some time. One of these is how much of an overt factor religion should be in the fantasy world I'm creating for Enchantment's Twilight. In tandem with that issue is how to go about representing the force that one or more god-like beings may exert over the events in the game's story. Too much influence can render a game broken since players feel too HELPLESS AND INCONSEQUENTIAL. Why strive for victory if some god can just will the needed circumstances into being? On the other hand, too little influence renders supposedly super powerful beings mere tools for clever players to make use of. Who needs to gather all that treasure to be able to afford good armour if Zeus can just fry one's adversaries with a few bolts of lightning? It's a very tricky balance with dangers of detracting from the experience or giving offence to people of faith. Striking that balance rewards both the players and the game designer with a more richly woven experience. It also provides a ready agency for injecting control over situations at crucial points.

It is certainly possible to create a fantasy world for a game or story without directly involving religion. Tolkien, a devout Christian, chose this approach in his Lord of the Rings books and still packed them with undeniably Christian values. When creating good fantasy, it is vital to maintain internal logic and consistency. Basic questions normally answered via religions must still be addressed in some fashion in order to have fantasy which hangs together and is meaningful.

Representing our Christian God or a pantheon of gods such as the Hindu, Roman, or Greek ones in a game is very problematic. Even more so, in fact, than in a fantasy novel. In a story, the author retains full control of events. The whole idea of a game, on the other hand, is that its players shape the outcome through their own decisions, luck and skill. The whole point of games is that they are interactive experiences.

As a player, I've experienced two different approaches to simulating god-like entities in games. In most computer role-playing games, gods are essentially treated like vending machines. Pray or sacrifice to this god and you'll get that reward. Lets say I've come across a magic hat on the floor of a cavern I'm exploring. I decide to try it on hoping it will bestow a magical advantage upon me. Instead, it makes my fingers slippery and sticks fast to my head. For it is a cursed hat of fumbling fingers! Picking up anything is hard and takes time but there are precious diamonds scattered throughout the cavern. I'm naturally averse to leaving any behind. Spending precious moments gathering up all the diamonds I can carry allows the goblin hoard that pursues me to enter the cavern! I am discovered and now badly out-numbered! I flee to the cavern's far extremity where I come across an altar to Blorn, the god of second chances. As the goblins close in on me, I draw my enchanted sword. I take heart as this gives them a moment's fearful pause ... until it falls from my hand! Drat that cursed hat! Perhaps, there's a lesson about greed to be learned here. If I hadn't spent so much time gathering every diamond I could see, the goblins wouldn't have caught up with me. That gives me a notion. I throw down a good portion of the diamonds onto the altar and pray to Blorn. There's a clap of thunder and the diamonds on the altar are consumed in a shaft of brilliance. The cursed hat falls from atop my penitent pate. I can now retrieve my sword and make my escape with a small quantity of the diamonds.

The above is a basic example of the most common way in which god-like beings are featured. Consequences tend to be immediate and well defined. This approach has the advantage of being simple to plan out and program. You can dress it up with spectacular effects and grandeur, but one can't ultimately escape the profound hollowness of this approach. The rules are simply too apparent to the player. There's none of the wonder, awe, humility, uncertainty and fear that actual worshipers would experience. This is why such games almost never use deities who are still actually being worshipped today. Real religions that have stood the test of time tend not to limit their gods to such basic immediate reactions. Actual belief tends to weave a rich and deep tapestry into one's life far more complex than mere action and reaction.

King of Dragon Pass is a game for the iPHONE and other Apple devices which attempts to address this common shortcoming. This game puts you in charge of a clan on a fantasy world with many gods and spirits to contend with. You need to pick and choose which ones to worship and sacrifice cattle or goods to. Unlike the vending machine model, there is no certainty here at all. You can't easily quantify how effective a given blessing is or predict when or what the result of rituals will be. This uncertainty creates some of that missing experience of mystery and awe. As the player, you definitely have to pay careful attention to mythological detail and tread with caution if you want your clan to prosper. King of Dragon Pass has something like three novels worth of text. There is hand-painted artwork, music and sound to help bring the player deeper into the experience. However, despite all that, Orlanth and his fellow gods are ultimately just very powerful and unpredictable game elements to be used or ignored at one's own peril. However, thanks to this richly detailed background, the game isn't reduced to mere number crunching. You can't help starting to care about your clan and the fictitious people who comprise it. The game teaches valuable lessons regarding leadership, responsibility, the benefits of practicing faith on an individual and societal level, and more.

Far from weakening my faith, playing King of Dragon Pass has given me a sense of deep gratitude that there is just one true God and that he loves us without conditions. We need not know a thousand different rituals to keep in his good graces. For us, asking his forgiveness and accepting his son as our Savior is sufficient. Exploring alternative world views can let us appreciate our own faith all the more.

The original vision God gave me of Enchantment's Twilight definitely depicted aspects of religion. I remember priests and places of worship. Characters seemed to have a sense of supernatural forces larger than themselves being active in their universe. While I'm confident that God wants me to incorporate some sort of religion into the game, I'm very uncertain how he would have me proceed in that area. However, if past experience is anything to go by, this will eventually be revealed to me. It's another thread in a very large and complex tapestry. God has given me some indication through the respectful great care he has taken with me. He has given me plenty of gentle nudges or taps on the shoulder, but has always allowed me to find my own unique path and pace to his truth. That spirit of wonder, reverence, and compassion over all is the one in which I approach bringing the vision of a grand interactive epic God has given me a glimpse of into being.

A Splendid Beginning

Hello everyone. It's just past five AM as I write this short entry. Sara and I have had a terrific first day together. We've both decided to really give this relationship a try. She seems to very much enjoy my company and, to my great releaf, my cooking. We had the best steak dinner I've made in quite some time last evening. It obviously went down well. No leftovers but a handful of potato pieces. She also loves audio dramas and we spent considerable time listenning to one of my more recent acquisitions. Namely, Inspector McLevy. It's so damned good to have her to share my appreciation for these dramas with. No lapse of attention due to there being no graphics. She's got a good focus. I really hoped I'd find someone who could appreciate the things I tended to listen to and she really fills that hope in spades. She's very knowledgeable about all sorts of things and I have no doubt that my game and other projects will greatly bennefit from that. However, just now, I'm rather basking in the elation of finding someone who's so accomplished and intelligent finding me worth exploring love's possibilities with.

Of course, we spent the majority of time simply sitting on the couch talking. To actually have someone here makes so much difference for me. Both of us feel we have a real shot at something splendid together. She likes the apartment and area. I hope her guide dog Rocky has found me an acceptable host. He definitely likes being patted. It was just a bit of a different experience having a dog in the place. I'm afraid I've accidentaly lightly stepped on a paw while he lay splayed out on the floor. I'm getting better at treading softly and listenning carefully for the good old fellow but it's a work in progress. He was so very attentive to Sara. Most times I felt him, Rocky was looking towards her. He found a few mysterious crunchy items on the floor that my vacuuming efforts had obviously missed. On the good side, he never tried to eat any of our dinners. Having an animal around does seem to make me feel ultra-conscious of anything on the floor. Sara, of course, had no expectations that my place would be spic and span or anything like that.

Today, we'll be going to Symposium Cafe for brunch and be meeting my good friends Mark and Wendy. There's a slight possibility Carine and Kevin may join us too. There's so much to look forward to. Introducing her to all my friends will be a real pleasure. Both of us read quite a lot so there are plenty of book discussions to be had. It feels like a very large gate that has blocked life's advancement has been openned for me at last. I couldn't have asked for a more favourable first visit here. Things have gone quite well indeed. Both of us are taking it slow and careful but we do seem to have a good chemistry.

Coming Unstuck

Hello everyone. Time has snuck away from this largely happy blogger once again. I haven't done one of these since August. The Summer ended splendidly, although truth to tell, some aspects of it have continued into the Autumn for me. The past couple of days have been splendidly warm. Not quite equal to Summer's heat but a nice repreve from the generally cool rainy trend. Winter is definitely approaching, but it won't arrive quite yet.

I got to Canada's Wonderland a couple more times with Carine, Kevin, and his new special lady Tavia. We caught the Haunt Night special event. I can't say that it was anything more than good campy fun. They change the look of areas with hanging curtains, plastic slats and netting. I guess visually, that works quite well. However, it ended up merely being annoying for me as I ploughed through these flimsy barriers. Once or twice, my nose got caught in the holes in hanging netting or possibly simulated cobwebs and was yanked upwards. Still, we got on the rollercosters and hanging out with those high-spirited people was delightful. I'm glad they're willing to take me to these things rather than just presuming that I wouldn't like them. I simply enjoyed the occasion for different reasons than most people might have. We all got soked by the rain that arrived nearer the end of our outing but my fleece jacket stood me in very good stead. I think I was the dryest person in the group when we went to Symposium for a very late drink and bite to eat. As always, Symposium Cafe didn't let us down and we enjoyed around an hour's conversation along with our snacks.

Kevin and Carine plus a lot of other friends were also able to join me at Symposium Cafe for a wonderful gathering at the end of August. It was splendid to be able to see how so many of them reacted to each other. I had a profound sense of just how blessed I am with friendship in life. Hopefully, I can a chieve something similar at New Year's Eve. Certainly something else to look forward to.

I have also enjoyed a splendid Thanksgiving weekend this year. The Haunt night kicked it off nicely. We had our family dinner on sunday and it went very well with everyone present and in good spirits. I managed to get a couple of excellent audioboos of the festivities including one of my neaces being spun around on an office chair by their gleeful grandfather. My birthday also was quite enjoyable. I celebrated it with my family. My grandmother was there and able to visit her great granddaughters. Those little darlings were unfortunately a little under the weather which somewhat disorganised the celebration and made it tricky to capture a good audioboo of the occasion. I still managed to get one but it was a close thing. I hadn't realised that my brother Dan had one of those Tassimo coffee makers. I've been curious about what they felt and sounded like ever since hearing the review on them done by that brave and daring bunch over at Serotek. They really are very practical and easy to use for blind people and I may look into getting one after Christmas. Meanwhile, I've been thoroughly enjoying my order of Screech Tea that arrived on an otherwise uneventful Halloween this year. I stayed home and listenned to some short horror stories. There was also the Myth Busters Halloween special which was very entertaining.

I'm very thankful that I was healthy enough to enjoy my birthday and Thanksgiving weekend. However, those occasions formed brighter spots in a bit of illness I went through over this past while. The earlier portion was likely a flu or something similar. I found myself sneezing, coughing, and very very tired. I slept through large chunks of days and was generally lethargic. That illness hung around for a couple of weeks. Once I got over it, my sleeping was out of wack and I've had to contend with insomnia and ill-timed sleeps for the past while. Thankfully, that's finally cleared up over the past few days. I've felt more like myself again over the past weekend although I still slept through a couple of hours of yesterday afternoon. I'm not quite back at a hundred percent but I'm getting very close.

It's been hard to sustaine focus on any sort of creative work. I have, on the other hand, been reading a lot of books and listenning to podcasts. This has kept me from sinking into even worse conditions. The CNIB library and Audible have been wonderful resources over the past while. I've made two stupendous audio drama finds on Audible over the past couple of weeks. The first was The Further Adventures of Sherlock Holmes. This was an extention of sixteen brand new cases based on references to unwritten adventures in the Conan Doyle canon of Sherlock Holmes material. Bert Cules has done a terrific job both in crafting the cases and producing the audio dramas. I was exceedingly pleased to finally be able to obtain the adventures from Audible after fruitlessly searching for the CDs over the past four years. My other accidental find was the complete series of Inspector McLevy dramas. He's a fictional inspector in Edenborough Scotland during the Victorian era. Those two finds will certainly make this Winter a more pleasant experience. Real jewels in my growing collection of modern audio dramas. Especially the Further Adventures of Sherlock Holmes collection. I was pretty much resigned to never finding those. I've read through a good many books in an effort to keep awake during daytime or stave off boredom. Sadly, despite being very interested while reading them, their content has largely vacated my brain. I'll have to re-read a lot of it at some point. On the bright side, I've got them for keeps and they kept my morale up when I needed them to.

It's now mid afternoon on november 22 as I continue writing this entry. The insomnia has at last mostly gotten back in its box. I've slept pretty well for a few days now. Having failed to pull myself away from Inspector McClevy in timely fashion this morning, I failed to take the chicken I planned to eat for lunch out to thawe. When I did so, I found that it was frozen together. The feel of the packaging had suggested that this might not happen. I won't make that mistake again. It took some doing to extract the two small breasts I actually wanted. They're now cooking on my grill bathed in Diana chicken sauce if I remember the smell of what I put on them correctly. Whatever the case, they begin to smell worth every bit of the trouble they put me to. Lunch has changed with minimal fuss into a kind of early supper on the theory that eating early might help my sleep remain good.

A whole lot has happenned over the past while. I've seen some friends including Paul from my church and Carine and her boyfriend Richard. It was nice to get to meet Carine's mysterious other half at last. He's a pretty nifty guy. Very observant and thoughtful but you can tell he's been overworked and through some rough stuff. There'll hopefully be more opportunities to know him better going forward. It's always interesting seeing how couples of friends relate to each other. Plans to see Michelle, Gerry and Angela haven't exactly worked out over the past little while but that ought to change soon.

Thanks to Twitter and my friend Michelle McQuigge for connecting the dots, it appears that I may have at last found someone who's actually interested in me and has real potential for a good stable relationship. Sara is blind and like me, is all too familiar with ODSP and the restrictions it puts on life and relationships both intentionally and otherwise. She's close to my age and is also a Christian who seems to take a similar approach to faith and values overall. She's Orthodox and I'm Reformed so we've already discovered some denominational differences but nothing insurmountable between two people who sincerely don't want to wait til doomsday before finding love. Both of us have had past relationships go wrong so we're taking it slow and careful. Nevertheless, even just coming into proof positive at long last that my hope for a less solitary life here isn't completely hopeless has done me a power of good. I guess it won't seem completely real until we actually get together and visit each other. She's in Brantford which is apparently around 40 minutes away or so. That still seems somewhat incredible to me. My sense of geography is apparently based more on how long it's been since I was last somewhere or how long it took to get there ffrom where I lived when I went there. Nothing's really solidified in my mind other than the very small area that I've walked repeatedly these past three years. There are still gaps even in that; Areas where I can easily, if only briefly, get confused.

Now and then, my compassion for people and instinctive urge to be helpful and friendly can get me into awkward situations. Lately, this has revealed itself to be the case when it comes to Lori from Lake Joe. She was the lady who Janet was acting as caretaker for. While Janet has some degree of an adult's understanding, Lori tends to be more child-like in her mental capacity. I really find it hard to be blunt but increasingly am forced to conclude that I have no choice. Once I broke up with Janet, she somehow got it into her head that I'd just start loving her. If I couldn't make it work with Janet, there's frankly no way on Earth that Lori would have worked out. Even as just a friend, she simply doesn't have the mental capacity to sustain an adult level conversation. My patience is unfortunately running very thin with her old circular track of conversation. "Are you looking forward to Lake Joe this Summer?" I'd be a very wealthy man had I a nickel for each time I've been asked that by her over the past months. She almost invariably responds with "not much" when asked what she's been doing. New thoughts or ideas? Afraid not. Presenting her with ideas never seems to get more than a basic serfice reaction. I have no objection to seeing her at a place like Lake Joe where there are other people and things to do. In such circumstances, I feel like I might actually add some good to her life being a bit more patient and kind than others have at times. However, even my patience has its limits. I keep thinking I've made more progress than I have at jently getting her to understand that there are others I would talk with on Skype and that I don't have a whole lot new to say to her. I keep comparing her to a child but in truth, it would probably be easier to cope with a similar situation with a child. I really feel for her and for her parents who obviously try their hardest to add friends and good people to her life. I'm just not the man she needs. I need a partner with comparable mental faculties to my own. I learned that bitter lesson the hard way and I try not to hurt anybody by repeating mistakes. I've endured a lot of loneliness due to people overlooking me as a suitable companion. It still hurts to have to push someone else away who is equally marginalised and lonely. I guess I'm glad of that overall. I haven't yet become the burnt out calous person that part of me has always dreaded slowly turning into as the lonely days and long nights tic past. I still have a soul suitable for and, I hope, deserving loving companionship. The day I lose that compassion and empathy for other unfortunate lonely souls, I'll know that the hourglass has run out and that a fundamental treasured part of me has been eroded away by time. Shurely, God has some woman out there for me. I very much hope that I've at last come across her and that I don't somehow botch things up unwittingly before we've even gotten together. It's hard not to second-guess oneself in the beginning before you're more familiar with each other's communicativeness, routine and such. I think though that Captain Picard got it right in that first episode of TNG. Better to be condemned for who we actually are.

It's approaching noon on saturday as I continue this entry. I'm now the proud owner of a Proform 6.0ZE elliptical trainer. Dad and I picked it out yesterday. It's a floor model so I got it for around half regular price. It certainly felt in good working order and nothing came to my father's notice as being missing. There's always that chance when you go for used rather than new but I've spent far less than I thought it would cost me to get a machine to work out on in the apartment. It's the kind of decision I might have made soon after moving into my apartment had the funds been available. Even without all the tremendous changes in my life that have come since, I would have valued having a private means of working off restless energy long before now. It feels like an investment finally made that was very long overdue. At long last, my quality of life has changed enough to give me more of a tangible sense of what being better shape is actually worth.

I can understand how that might sound strange to someone reading this who has no sense of how blocked off I've been from the more active meaningful social sort of life I've wanted. I've lived years where there's been absolutely no need for even all of the strength and energy I had let alone any more. I just haven't had the personal connections I'd need to go and do more physical things. I'm not often called upon to help move heavy objects or to actually use more vigour and strength than I have naturally as a relatively young person. I've lived through day after day of just sitting around reading, listenning, writing and thinking. Thankfully, there have been some occasions to break up the longer stretches of nothing new. My difficulty with orientation and getting anywhere has blocked me from quite a lot of what a lot of people my age would be doing as a matter of daily life. There's not much point in being Superman f there's no need for such strength in one's life. There have been relatively few occasions outside of times when illness or periods of insomnia where I've felt too exhausted or lacked the strength to do what I've wanted to do. People always talk about how habitual exercise really pays off as you get older. However, when you're young and sidelined from a lot of daily activity, that's a very distant call to conscience. I'm largely content with my health and energy level when insomnia or sickness isn't causing me special grief. I have no memory of having been in better condition. I was certainly less overweight in years past but even there, I can't point to any sort of feeling of energetic slimness and yearn to recapture it. Only in recent years have those quiet alarm bells started hitting home as I've had to contend with the occasional twinge or ache. Age is finally starting to give slight warning signs that I've got to get more in geer when it comes to exercise. Nothing major or overly alarming, but enough to prick through that sense that I can just coast along and take my current ability level for granted into eternity.

I was cut off from going out and seeing any friends I had who couldn't come to get me. That's still largely the case now. However, I've at least made some friends near enough to see more often and do things with. Also, now that I've reconnected with friends in Toronto and am in a permenent location, there is actually somewhere I'd very much like to learn to get to on a fairly regular basis. I have begun to actually have the connections to people interested in taking me places and spending more time out with me. It makes such a profound difference to be in a position where the extra effort it takes me to learn to get to Union Station will open up so much scope for deepenning relationships with old friends. Now that busses automatically announce the stops, I don't think I'll feel quite as easily detached from the process of getting where I need to. That Ariadne app is also going to help me a ton. I don't imagine I'll ever be able to navigate a large city, but I think getting to stations where I can be met with people who can do that is within my reach.

It's monday evening, november 26th. The elliptical machine I bought has arrived and seems to be in sound if a little creeky condition. It's harder than ordinary running would be. I've got a long way to go in terms of getting in good shape if less than ten minutes on it tuckers me out. I'll take it slow and careful going for short stints on it when writer's block or boredom strikes. Before my actual workouts, I'll be shure to do some stretches as the manual suggests. Zombies Run seems to work alright with it as far as I can judge being so unacustomed to actually running on an elliptical. It's more like taking oversized quick steps.

Christmas shopping has begun in earnest for me. I've found a few gifts but there are still my little neaces to acquire interesting things for if possible. Nothing really struck me as "gotta get" for themat Discovery Channel's online store. That's usually my very first port of call and I've found nifty stuff there for them in the past. Alass, not this year. As they get older, I think it'll get easier for me to find the outside-the-box sort of stuff I'd like to as their uncle. I have fond memories of being utterly surprised and wowed by gifts from my aunts and uncles of toys I had never heard of or imagined existed. It's a legacy of fun and imaginative mental stimulation that I'd like to pass on.

There have been other events since August. A good many moments of fascination due to podcasts, books and recently, this year's Massey Lectures from the CBC. Neil Turrock did a terrific job of explaining science's current views of how reality is built and the steps and theories which have taken us there. He brought the humanity back to science for me in a very powerful way. The book and lectures are available on iTUNES. Search for "the universe within" on iBOOKS and "massey lectures" on iTUNES. If you have any sort of scientific curiocity, you'll be absolutely captivated by his pleasant engaging style.

It's now tuesday evening. I had a pretty busy day. Got my flue shot and also a haircut for starters. My order of groceries arrived with only a couple substitutions. I overdid the fruit a bit am confident that I'll be better able to judge how many individual fruits to get next time and not stuff my fridge shelf quite so full. I'm really going to make an effort to snack more on fruit this month and conserve other snacks more. We'll see how that goes in addition to working out on my new machine. I got a new portable 500 GB drive that's much smaller and lighter than I thought it would be. It runs very quietly on USB power. Copying my large audio library over to the drive was without any complications. It did take over two hours for around 250 GB to make the trip down its short USB cable. In many ways, digital space is another very important piece of what constitutes home. I've been collecting all sorts of digital audio over the past twenty years or so. A whole lot of narrated books, dramas, podcasts, movies and music. I don't know what's more astounding; That I've had time in my life to listen to the staggerring amount of it that I have, or that I can now lift that legacy easily with a finger and carry it securely in a pocket. We certainly live in times of wonder.

It's getting later now, approaching eleven o'clock. I've been writing down my reflections slowly due to the pop music in the background. I still find it very hard to write while music with words is on despite recent efforts to get over that hangup. It doesn't seem to matter how familiar or unfamiliar I am with the lyrics. They get in my writing way. I've retreated from this undertaking switching to relaxing instrumental music. A beautiful track from the Princess Bride soundtrack, Guide My Sword, is my reward. In addition to getting myself into better shape, I really mustn't let so much time go past between blog entries. Particularly given this new chapter in life I seem to be enterring, I feel like I should have recorded more of my thoughts over the past three months and more motivated to record whatever comes up next. It feels indescribably refreshing to have the possibility of finding love again in life. It's going to be a gradual journey, but both of us have found out enough about each other to have real hope for something solid and lasting at its end.

It's wednesday morning. I'll be off to brunch at Symposium Cafe soon with my father. We're also going to get me some beer. Tonight, there's the Dam and movie night. Can't remember what the movie was going to be this week. Next week though, it's Bat Man, Dark Knight Rises! Yay! I'll finally get to take that one in. I had hoped to see it in the theatre with friends, but as usual, that just hasn't panned out for me. I believe I'll have better luck with the Hobbit. Paul is interested in going and envited me along for the 14th. It'll be damned nice not to wait ages to see this one. Even nicer to be able to envision a future where I have a special lady in life to experience such cultural events with. It was awesome to find an email from Sara in my inbox first thing this morning. I hadn't realised how much I missed getting those from Janene when I was her special man. I feel so much less burried by the past. It's still there and always will be, but I find I'm think ahead a little more than I would have even a week ago. It helps to have something life-changing and actually attainable in view after so long without that. A sphere of this blessed and unusual life where I have more of an immediate impact and won't work away for years without anything but good conscience to show for it. Looking ahead to December, I'll be seeing friends before Christmas if all goes acording to plan. I'd like to arrange a Symposia Carfe gatherring for December 12. At twelve noon, twelve after twelve to be precise, all five digits in the date will match up for the last time in this century. I'd like to capture that moment for Audioboo and if possible, I'd like to share that with friends. We'll see how that goes or if it gets off the ground at all. I also hope to get together with Stephen after he gets back from his cruise and see friends from Toronto. Hope he feels up to stopping in at my humble apartment and enjoying some hospitality here also. I guess there's also a Christmas breakfast in the building. Not certain when that's going to be but I'll attend if possible. With Christmas at the far end, December is already looking quite festive and busy.

Lunch at Symposium Cafe was up to its usual excellence. I had the chicken souvlaki on a bun which was messy but quite good. Picked up some Japanese beer called sapora or something like that plus an ale called Optical Illusion from Flying Monkey. Never heard of that bunch before so I figured I'd try one of theirs out. Count on me to be up for unusual beers any time. Mom needs a new computer. She used my old one which has just bit the dust at long last. It did so suddenly so she couldn't back anything up. No huge loss other than possibly some of her pictures. Things should be a lot better for her on a new computer that's hers from the word go. I'll just put NVDA on it for those occasions when she needs my help with it. We spent a good part of the lunch going over flyers and prices of various computers. She's going to get a laptop. There's a lot of choice in her price range and it'll stand her in far better stead when it comes to games. She's really taken to those. I've given the best advice I could based on specs but there's also the experiencial element. Thankfully, places usually have demo models that people can use to see if they like the look and feel of various laptops. It's hard to go too far wrong at this juncture for her needs. Dad also wants a new router. He's been having connectivity problems with his iPAD and the one they currently have. My Time Capsule is purring along quite contentedly these days. Haven't had much trouble with it at all. Once they've made their decisions, they'll want me around to help set things up. I'm thinking mom won't have trouble getting her new laptop going. The last few times, it's been a matter of just filling in whatever answers or choices are offered and things have gone smoothly. Hopefully, the router will be similarly cooperative this time around. Mom's quite excited at the prospect of her very own new laptop.

I've managed to do a half-hour mission on the elliptical by taking it slow. It's somewhat easier to sustain a slow loping ramble and speed up when it's important for the game to outrun zombies. Still tiring but doable. The only package I'm current awaiting is the adaptor which runs the fan and console on the machine. Still lots of time to track down something interesting for the kids for Christmas. I've begun working on a list of games to get for mom. There'll be a number from Bigfish Games. She really likes those but I also like to look farther afield in case of any more in-depth unique treasures.

And that pretty much sums everything up. Hope you've enjoyed this somewhat disjointed slice of my life. I'll try and blog more regularly over the next while as events dictate. Smaller chunks are easier to create and to chew. Until next time, dear Reader, picture me feeling energetic and full of hope. I'm sitting in a comfortably warm apartment with a cup of hot Screech tea within easy reach and delightful instrumental New Age music in the background. Damned close to paradise.