Lake Jo Trip and Reflections

Lake Jo Vacation Blog

*Saturday, August 21:

It's the evening before I head off. I'm sitting on my couch writing this on my netbook. My desktop PC is playing new age music through my Bose Companion3 speakers. The Logitec V20 speakers I have for the netbook are quite good but you simply can't get comparable sound through USB speakers. The weather has been splendid for most of the week. It's rainy and humid today though. A nice breeze is, however, a strong point in the day's favour though and I like not needing my AC on. Tomorrow at around this time, I'll no doubt be all settled into my cabin and listening to the traditional porch meting. They'll go over the rules I've heard countless times before and cover any offsite excursions available. That presumes that there stil are any left. I've noticed the quality and quantity of such trips rapidly declining over the past number of visits.

This year's casualty seems to be the trip out to the Legeon for an evening of drink and music. For many of us long-time Lake Jo visitors, this was a right of passage dividing the kids and teens from the adults. I'll miss it on those grounds. As for alcohol, I can certainly do without that for a week. I wouldn't be surprised if the staff takes a lot of flak for this despite the fact that the tripwas cancelled due to the closure of the Legeon, a sad event completely out of the Lake Jo management's control.

Two years have passed since my last visit to Lake Jo. They've been pretty eventful to say the least. A future in which I was happilly married to someone I was completely confident truly loved me lay before me. There would be brand new places to go with someone who deeply valued my company. Janene will never truly grasp how devastating her leaving me was. All those possibilities and that sense of my virtues finally leading me to a better less solitary life snuffed out in less than an hour. I couldnt have faced goingback to Lake Jo that Summer even had it still been possible. Since then, I've had altogether too much time alone. Also, I've at last moved out on my own and have therefore taken up those chores of everyday life. For the foreseeable future, it looks like Lake Jo is going to be my only affordable vacation destination. Provided funding cuts and safety concerns don't completely destroy the Lake Jo experience, I'm prepared once again to make the best of my time there.

It looks like they're strongly discouraging people from bringing computers and electronics. Having spent two years writing a computer guide which I dedicated to the centre, this disturbs me. Lake Jo is one of the few places where blind people have a splendid opportunity to network and potentially help those in the community who otherwise would never be encountered. People should at the least come equipped to note down information necessary to keep in touch with people they meet there. While I can sympathise with the attempt to have kids and teens part for a while with their digital lives, it should always be the choice for adults to bring whatever they feel will enhance their vacation. This netbook will be up there with me for a whole host of reasons. Not the least of which is to fill the gaps where everyone is engaged in activities which don't interest me. A prime example of this is Bingo. I have absolutely no use for that game. Particularly when activities are geared to the lowest common dinominator, it would be foolish indeed for me to come unprepared to amuse myself. There's also the unfortunate possibility that most of my fellow vacationers will, for various reasons including missing mental marbles, not make for very good conversation. As the more attractive excursions are stripped away, this becomes increasingly more likely as the more independant and successful blind people find other vacation options. Hopefully, for at least a portion of life, I too will be able to explore more of the world with good friends or, dare I hope, a new special lady? That would be splendid but I'm far passed holding my breath while I wait. I've come to terms with being single as much as an extravert can. These solitary saturdays do tend to drag on though. For the next week, such isolated stretches will be a thing of the past. If I'm very lucky, someone will say something which inspires ideas for Enchantment's Twilight.

I'm fairly certain I've packed everything I'll need. One suitcase and my netbook bag. Nice and compact. It'll be interesting to get a feel for the staff near the very end of their season. They'll have all the experience under their belts but what kind of shape will the guests of the past weeks have left them in? Even if the camper crowd falls flat, I can't recall a year in which I didn't have lots of brief but interesting conversations with staff members. At the very least, that's something to look forward to. Well, it's time I saved this and got some sleep in my own bed for the last time this week. Later, everyone.

*Thursday: August 26

It's been a pretty good week this year. The staff here are doing a teriffic job and are a lot less frazzled than I would have expected. I've enjoyed my days here. There are thankfully enough sane people around to have a good amount of conversation and hang out with. Unfortunately, there are the usual number of people that I can't help wishing weren't here. One man in particular has always unwittingly vexed me. He's a nice man but is incredibly hard to understand and deal with despite his good intentions. He has a way of always appearing when and where you least want him to be. That has the effect of killing an good conversation in progress as everyone,myself included, feels compelled to try and answer his questions, laugh at his pathetic jokes, etc. He has to repeat said information numerous times before anybody is able to understand it. I feel for him. Life with such problems must be very frustrating indeed. However, I'm trying to enjoy a vacation and he frankly often gets in the way. You want to tell him to get lost but the very thought of doing so makes you cringe inwardly at such cruelty even while the thought brings with it a certain sadistic pleasure.

The only things I've signed up for program-wise are pontoon cruises and a trip to the Legion. Thankfully, it has re-opened. Other than that, I've simply been hanging around, chatting with staff and campers, and generally enjoying the different environs. I've spent a lot of time just strolling around the paths and boardwalk or relaxing in the chairs down by the shore of the lake. There comes a point at the end of the boardwalk most distant from the dining hall where ramps lead downward in three directions. You can step partially onto the ramp in front of you and just hear your surroundsings open up completely in the 180-degree arc ahead of you. Nothing but distant wind, water, birds, and the occasional distant trafic noise. Down by the lake, you can at times hear honest to God unrecorded unprocessed waves. Relatively small ones, but jenuine waves nonetheless.

They don't have wifi up here so I have to hook the netbook into the ethernet cable from the back of another computer. Hope they get wifi up and running for next year. It really shouldn't be rocket science. I checked my email a total of three times and don't plan on doing much more than that online until I'm home again. The music and other audio content I've got on my hard drive has, however, come in quite handy. There are periods each day where the folks to make for good conversation are doing other stuff. Also, some people have shown an interest in what they've heard me listening to and doing. It's damned nice not to be in a situation where my interests feel so irrelevent to those around me. There are a bunch of people who want to keep in contact after the holiday is over. Whether that leads anywhere other than to yet more people to correspond with online and never see other than when we chance to go to Lake Jo the same week remains an open question. A week really isn't long enough to judge the strength of personal connections made but I'll keep as open and positive a mind about it as I reasonably can.

*Friday, august 27:

The final day of vacation is well underway. Itt's somewhat quiet. The trip to the Legion was a success. Everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. There's some sort of cold going around which I may or may not have caught. Poor Fay seems to have picked it up the strongest. Despite its effect and not having any alcohol, she still had a splendid time. Derek cut loose with his wonderful singing voice when they played Sweet Caroline and Fay was in stitches. Thank goodness he and enough other rational folks are around here. Last night at dinner, Brett had bothered me to the point of getting up and leaqving or giving him a right good thump in the head. Thankfully, I ended up thinking of something which just set me offf laughing. Can't remember for the life of me what it was but I just couldn't stop laughing. The frustration just melted away. I just can't handle Mike and Brett as gracefully as I feel I morally ought to. Part of it is my frustration with not really having a group of friends to hang out with on a regular basis. I'd give a great deal just to have folks around my age close enough to pop out for coffee, to the pub, attend local events, etc with. It always seems like my efforts should lead to more of that in life. The fact that this has yet to occur isn't really their fault at all. However, during a week where I'm around people who at least share some of my life experience, it ticks me off to no end when good conversations are brought to a screeching hault or otherwise spoiled by having to contend with their unwitting disruption.

I'm not going to go in the water this afternoon due to the chilly breeze. The sun is very nice but that wind would do me in if I got wet. Instead, I'll hang out down by the waterfront and perhaps see what my crank radio is able to pull in. The solar panel ought to do well today. People will be around to talk to.

I got lucky. There were a good sane bunch of people to chat with down there. It's now approaching four thirty. I believe I've had enough sun for now. I dropped by the welcome centre where I had an interesting conversation with another camper and a minor tussle with Brett who made said conversation difficult. Thankfully, I emerged from this one in somewhat better form having attempted once again to explain why and how much I was annoyed by him. I doubt it'll do any good at all but I never came close to losing control. Better that than to be saved by an errant humorous thought.

My cane finally decided to break yesterday. The elastic band which holds it together has snapped. I hope I can get it fixed. The cane itself hasn't bent or worn down at all otherwise. When I'm home again, I'll have to order another spare cane.

*Tuesday August 31:

No, I'm not still at Lake Jo. On saturday, Mark and Wendy picked me up as planned. We had a very good day together visiting Mark's parents and other family members at their cottage. We ended the evening with a meal at a pretty good burger place in Barry and a walk by the waterfront before heading home. It's been quite a while since I've done that much walking without a cane but Mark and Wendy have guided me places for years and I felt totally safe. Everything was perfectly in order in my apartment. However, that wasn't and still isn't the case with me. I in fact did catch something while I was up there. A dry cough and stuffed head has persisted for the past couple of days to the point where my skull aches at times when I cough. My nose is less runny than it's been and my throat feels less sore so I believe I'm over the worst of it. However, my hearing is still degraded by this thing. It's like someone's wrapped my head in cotton that I have to hear through. Thank goodness nothing like this struck me when I first moved in here. I can navigate the apartment by feel alone if it came to that. My sleeping is all out of wack again. I've been compelled by exhaustion to spend a good amount of yesterday in bed. I slept solidly from eight o'clock to around five this morning when I simply had to get up for a couple of hours. I then ran out of energy and slept for another hour and a half. As I write this, it's approaching ten in the morning. Hopefully, I'm up for the day now. Good thing I cancelled my mobility lesson. It would have been pointless today.

I managed to get my laundry done yesterday. Also, the order of groceries I put in on my return arrived and it's all safely stowed. I forgot to add a couple of English cukumbers to the order. Mom is going to get those for me as well as some medication. Boxes which I had presumed were still well stocked after my last illness turned out not to be. Oops. Other than another load of laundry to do later this week, I don't have anything else on the radar other than finding out how to renew my CNIB card and sending emails to everyone at Lake Jo who gave me their contact info. I doubt I'll be good for much else if this illness persists. Overall, I still think of myself as a healthy person. I don't get clobbered by this sort of thing that often. It's supremely annoying when one's number comes up though.

While I've been unable to do much creatively, I've been listening to a book all about loneliness and solitude. It contains a great deal of food for thought. On the UC Burkely scale of loneliness, I apparently rate a 27 which is considered high. However, it appears that what I face is situational loneliness rather than the more mind-warping chronic kind. That sounds pretty fierce to contend with. You start seeing people as threats, shy away from social opportunities, and may lose your grasp on words. Not fun. I feel a lot better about how I'm coping with the comparatively mild but still vexing degree of solitude I face in life. As I age, I'll have to look out for symtoms of the more severe chronic loneliness. For the present, I believe things are moving, if ever so slowly, in a positive less lonely direction. People are starting to know me better in my church and around my building. Admittedly, I've ended up eating food I had purchased originally hoping to share with guests this Summer. I can't remember any occasion where more than three of the seeting spots I've furnished this place with have been filled with visitors other than family. However, it's early days yet. I find that I'm being asked to go out more often. This might make for a less solitary uneventful winter this year. That would be nice.

The trip to Lake Jo certainly makes me reflect on where I truly fit. I seem to be right at the crux of the divide between the blind and sighted communities. I've experienced a week of social fulfillment of a sort among people who share some of my life experiences. A week where finding conversation with people who were actually present was far easier than it normally is. People who had some actual concept of how much a barrier transportation, unemployment and potential cast aside by society at large can be. They know what it can be to have so much of life out of one's independant reach. I met people there who seemed to have faired better than I have in some ways. Some had found meaningful employment or were married. Pretty much everyone was, however, grateful that Lake Jo was available as a point of contact with other blind or visually impaired people. I've come away with some renewed hope of eventually finding more overall happiness in life than I have to this point. There are some good people out there who might see their way to opening more of life's opportunities in love and possibly employment than have presented themselves so far. I just have to keep on working away at my projects, try to help who I'm able to, keep jumping at social opportunities, and find as much contentment in my situation as is possible.

Canada Day

Hello everyone. Happy Canada Day. It's approaching five o'clock as I write this blog entry. I'm at last able to sit comfortably out on my balcony. No noisy construction wrecks the experience. Nore are too many jets flying over. It's very peaceful with a jentle wind blowing in over the rail. Last weekend, I went on a camping trip with Ron and his friends. Despite the rain, it was a splendid outing. I met some very interesting people and had an excellent time. As we all get older, things are losing that wild quality they once had. That suits me just fine but the down side is I can't rely on these trips to cure my insomnia. Last night, I enjoyed my first really good sleep in quite some time.

Things are going quite well lately. I've started my mobility lessons and am now concentrating on learning to reach the TD Bank which is near the Meadowvale Town Centre. It'll probably take four or five more lessons or so to really nail that down. The only area where things are going horridly is in my writing. Blog entries and emails are one thing but creatively, I'm in the middle of the longest droubt I've known and feel like it'll take a miracle to unlock things again. I've sat for hours trying to write anything creatively but have nothing to show for my efforts at all. The only thing left to do is to simply stop trying for the next while and try to simply enjoy things. With the nice weather, I've been doing more with people outdoors. That side of life is finally starting to shape up. This evening, I think I'll head down and see if people are celebrating around Lake Aquitain or perhaps at the community centre on the way to the mall. The rest of the weekend will be more family oriented. My grandmother is arriving some time tonight. We'll be doing various things over the next while with her. Poor Ava is ill at the moment so I don't know whether we'll be seeing Dan and his family or not. We'll also be seeing other friends of the family. It's nice not to have an empy long weekend staring me in the face. Think I'll get this posted and continue to enjoy it. Happy Canada Day everyone.

my trip to Winnipeg

My Trip to Winnipeg

October 15:

Doubtless, this will remain a high point in my writing for some time to come. I'm beginning this blog entry while on my way to Winnipeg aboard an Airbus 319. We're flying quite late at night. Due to the hour's time difference, I guess it'll be around midnight local time when we arrive. The ride is quite smooth but you certainly feel the speed during takeoff.

This ought to be quite an interesting visit. I haven't been to visit the extended family we have in Winnipeg for close to ten years. A whole lot of life has transpired for me during that time. I've married, divorced, nearly gotten married again, finished a major project and begun working on two others. Packing was a whole lot lighter and easier with this netbook and accessories. On my way back, I'll carry the speakers and lapdesk with me rather than in my luggage. I could have used that in the airport during the wait. There's plenty of room on the tray in the seat back in front of me for now. Using the netbook is quite comfortable in this situation.

The flight was very smooth. We've had a visit and I've settled downstairs where I'll sleep during our stay. I'm tired at the moment but wouldn't be surprised if I don't sleep long tonight, or rather, this morning.

October 18:

I meant to write in this blog a bit more frequently during this trip. We've been pretty busy. On friday, I saw my grandmother at her apartment. It's pretty much as I remembered it sonically. She makes excellent cookies and seems to keep a very tidy place. We had a pleasant afternoon and then went back to Uncle Neil and Aunt Cathy's for an excellent Chinese food dinner. Uncle Dennis also joined us. We played a word game afterwards called Apples to Apples which certainly passed the time and worked out quite well.

Yesterday, dad, Neil and I joined my grandmother at a casino. Gambling is a favorite activity of hers. I actually came out ahead by around four dollars having started with twenty. It's pretty unusual that I have anything to walk out with after even the brief trips we usually take when she visits us in Mississauga. I kept getting small wins just as I was running out for what I thought would be the last time. Visits to casinos will never be something I'd choose to do on my own but it makes a nice outing with my grandmother.

Later on, we went out to Jimmy G, a small band who performed music from the 50's and 60's. Music from that era isn't exactly my cup of tea. However, they were quite energetic and, so far as I'm any judge of these things, did quite a splendid job of it. The rest of the family all loved it. I enjoyed the Fort Gary Dark beer somewhat more than the music but it was still fun being out on the town.

Today has yet to begin in a proper sence. I've been up since around five thirty local time. Presently, I feel quite well rested. They have a comfortable bed which can fold into the wall down here. I can use my netbook in comfort sitting on a couch. It's good to be able to put these speakers to some extended use. The netbook and accessories have performed splendidly. I couldn't be more pleased with that. It's light and compact enough to take everywhere. So far, the only cause of occasional annoyance is IE8. I suppose it could also be my early version of Jaws which doesn't interact as well with it. Everything else is nicely up to date. I've played a good deal of Dragon Tavern between activities. Overall, I've done pretty well but Eldrex did bite the big one yesterday and I got stuck with another hefty debt of experience points which took some doing to pay off. I'm something like 117th in Canada now. Scary, isn't it?

Today, we're going to be visiting my uncle Dennis and aunt Pat. They live out in the country. I may at last get to find out what riding on an ATV is like. Uncle Dennis likes his vehicles. Last time we visited him, I rode on a motor cycle as well as in an old Corvette. Those cars certainly let you feel how fast you're going. I was surprised at how low to the ground it was. They also have a bunch of cats and other animals around. I'm thankful i brought along some alergy medication as it's impossible to resist petting animals. Later on, we're going over to se my cousin Barbi who I haven't seen in ages.

I'm back. Things are settling down again. It's been quite a fun day. Dennis let me drive his all-terrain vehicle while we were in a ploughed field. We had lots of good conversation with everyone. I was correct in thinking that I had previously met Bill, Barbi's very significant other. He's quite the nice fellow. Barb's going to have a baby early next year. Everyone was ghlad to see them in their new house. They live in a very quiet area. As we stood outside I couldn't hear any trafic at all.

I've at last gotten all caught up with emails. They can pile up pretty fast. My grandmother and the others are playing Scrabble. Other than the three brothers going off for a game of Golf, I don't know of any other plans for tomorrow. It's our last full day before we return on tuesday. The trip has certainly been fun.

October 20:

I'm writing this while we're waiting for our flight at the airport. Nice to have something to do this time. Yesterday was pretty quiet. However, I went out with mom and Aunt Cathy to a local restaurant called the Poney Coralle. They have very good hamburgers but they're a tad messy. Dad went golfing with his two brothers and Jeff, Neil's son. Afterwards, we had a nice dinner of leftovers with my grandmother. We'll be seeing her in a couple of weeks. She'll be here for my birthday this year.

I've had a really good time on this trip. Life seems to be going well for pretty much all of us at present. Jeff is well on his way to becoming a teacher. We spoke over Skype with Nancy and her special man in Saskatoon. It was good to get all caught up with family happenings. I'll be adding Aunt Cathy to my Skype and try to email them more often than i have previously.

We'll be back in Mississauga a little after noon so I'll be all caught up quite quickly. I'm already caught up with online stuff and I most likely don't have any voicemail messages. This little netbook has come in quite handy during times when everyone was busy or when they were doing something inaccessible to me. It's good to be able to whip this out, keep current, and amuse myself. Despite the netbook's excellent performancce, I'll be happy to return to mainly using my desktop. Afull-sised keyboard and Bose speakers are things missed while out and about. The lapdesk was superb at holding everything steady. I couldn't have been happier with my travel setup.

I'm all unpacked and settled back in my usual chair in front of my desktop computer. It's good to have everything squared away. I'm enjoying a nice cool clamato drink. My ears don't quite feel normal but that ought to finish correcting itself soon. The flight back was on an Airbus 320 which seems to have slightly narrower seets. The ride was a bit smoother during the takeoff and landing. However, we had a little turbulance to liven things up a tad. Well, ..., I enjoyed it and would have liked a little more. Doubtless, I'm the only deranged soul who thought that. It's just approaching two thirty as I polish off this blog entry. I don't have anything planned for the rest of the week. It's back to the normal daily duel with writer's block and staving off boredom. Good thing I'm currently cleaning both of their clocks these days. I'll go over to Symposium for a nifty brunch tomorrow or thursday. Other than that, I guess I'll just play things by ear so to speak.